


College Student St.

by squidballsinc



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, College AU, F/F, Human AU, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, My First Fanfic, Neighbors AU, Note: Deceit's name isn't Janus in this one~, OOC characters, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Warning: broke sad college students, aka. College Student St., and they were ROOMMATES, chapter 18 something people in the showbiz like to call ~world building~, every chapter after chapter 8 is not beta-ed, i don't know if i'm aiming for a plot or crack, i made Thomas like legit rly rich though, i think i'm going for plot, i'll find out later, it makes more sense in the 'story' i promise, just remembered that i should probably tag this so:, no longer beta-ed we die like men, omg they were roommates, room/housemates au, tbh chapter 15 is purely self indulgent crack and i'm living for it, they started a revolution, vague-ish references to drugs via smartie powder, will add tags as story goes on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-01-31 12:30:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 24,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21446245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squidballsinc/pseuds/squidballsinc
Summary: "Talent can be found anywhere, and we make it our mission to find and cultivate that talent." That was Sanders University's moto, and oh did they embody that moto to a T. No matter who it was, where they were, or what there situation is, they would seek them out and invite them to learn.And who would say no? The school offered a variety of facilities and the finest professors to teach the students, anyone who attended would become a master of their craft. That was a offer nobody would turn down.But the dorms were short on cash, and had to start charging rent. And for some of the students (who had arrived from low income areas) this could be a problem.So when one student found an opening, they took it. Creating a new situation and starting a domino effect that would go down in the school's history.(its not as serious as it sounds I promise)Based on a post I made on tumblr that you can findhere
Relationships: (Background) Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, (Background) Original Characters/Original Characters, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 242
Kudos: 214





	1. And it was history

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Establishing backstory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (aka. the neighborhood au nobody wanted but I decided to think on it and now I want it)
> 
> Hi so this is the fic version of a list fic I wrote on tumblr that I loved so much that I just had to make it a thing. Hope you enjoy this adventure as much as I will.

Sanders University is a remarkable place. They offer many courses ranging from athletic scholarships to lessons on how to draw political cartoons. 

All their lessons are taught by masters in their craft to ensure their students get the best education. 

However, while the students are talented, they aren’t always within the best financial circumstances. Sanders University prides itself in taking in any promising student. They hold events across the country for any student to enter.

This allows them to find promising students, and they try their very best to accommodate them.

The dorms can fit up to 2 people and all come with a private bathroom. The only furniture in the room are a bunk bed, 2 desks, a coffee table, couch, and a complete kitchen. The rooms weren't air conditioned but are soundproofed. All in all, it served its purpose as a place to live.

But, due to the amount of expenses used to keep up with both the school and the dorms, the school board was forced to make the students pay rent.

This, understandably, upset many of the students. But it was also the cause of something that will go down into the school’s history forever.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

One day a student who stayed in the dorms was browsing the internet and found out something interesting. Apparently some mysterious young man had bought out an entire neighborhood of empty houses that were going to be destroyed. And he was putting them up for rent at a fair price too!

The student immediately told their friends about this. Who told their friends. Who told more people.

Eventually everyone at the college knew about it.

Which caused many students to start forming groups and renting houses, while splitting the rent into small factions among them. Effectively saving them LOTS of money.

But there was one problem: some people don’t have friends.

So one student decides to start a community effort to create a system.

Every student living in the neighborhood would pay a few dollars towards the rent of the biggest house in the neighborhood. The house itself was gigantic, big enough to be turned into a hostel if anyone wanted to. It contained 4 floors, with 2 bathrooms and 4 bedrooms a floor. 

In return said student would keep track of who was in what house, what houses could fit more people, and the personalities of said people via a short therapy session. (The student was a therapy major so they were extremely accurate.)

Students will go to the house if they don’t already have a house to stay in and get assigned a house. But if there seems to be no place they fit then they can just stay in one of the MANY vacant rooms of the (now dubbed) Community House™. Some students even get ‘internships’ there for when the student that runs it can’t be there.

And the system works perfectly fine, one student even converted the first floor into a coffee shop. (That student was a business major that also happens to live there.)

The formation of the Community House™ also inspires other students to get jobs at the location used to rent out the dorms. There they catch any unknowledgeable students that don’t know about College Student St. (as it was dubbed by the locals), and convince them to go to the office at the Community House™. Those students lovingly call themselves ‘spies’.

In the end, not every student ends up living on College Student St. some rent their own apartments, or live with their family. But one thing is for certain, nobody lives in the dorms anymore.

The atmosphere there is also quite good as well. With students acting like actual neighbors, checking the mail in their pajamas and asking other neighbors to ‘borrow’ some sugar. Some students from a nearby college also live there, but not normally since the other college doesn’t charge rent.

There are actually many community events that have arisen as well, usually at or around the Community House™.

The original man who bought out the neighborhood, a nice man named Thomas, lives only a block away and knows about what has become of the neighborhood. And wholeheartedly approves. He even enjoys attending all of the community events and can often be seen hanging around the Community House™.

Of course the students have to graduate, but they usually move out in order to make room for new students. The two students who run the Community House™ do stay however. 

One of them gets a job as the college’s therapist for the poor stressed children. While the other runs the fairly profitable coffee shop, also named the Community House™. (The two actually got into a fight cause the business major wanted to name it the Community Hoe™, but the therapist won.)

And while they aren’t in college anymore, they’ll always be honorary college students to the neighborhood.

Who might these (former) students be might you ask? Why, it’s Emile and Remy of course! Who else would it be?

And that, my friends, is history. The history behind College Student St. What comes next is based purely on a few certain chaotic gay disasters who’re gonna fuck shit up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that is one hell of a history lesson (for me to write).


	2. They have arrived

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys get introduced & move in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys have come. Now the plot truly begins.

Walking up to the building, Virgil was expecting things to be simple. He opened the door to the office and saw a man sitting at the desk. 

The man had his legs kicked up on the desk playing a game on his phone with a fan blowing in his face. He was a brunette, whose hair looks orange under the right lighting, that nicely complements his ruby eyes. Strangely, he was also wearing swim trunks, a tank top and a necklace that looked to be made of seashells with googly-eyes on top.

He turned towards Virgil, “Oh hey! You must be a freshman, my name is Stratus Spear. Who’re you?”

“I’m Virgil Stoe. I was hoping to get a dorm?”

“Oof sorry buddy, I can’t do that!”

“What why? Are all the dorms full or something…?”

“Well no. In fact all of the dorms _just~so~happen_ to be empty!”

“Wha- then- why-”

“Now, now there is something I may need to confess to you. I… happen to be………… a spy ...”

“A…….. Spy.…… Riiiiiiight.”

“No no I’m serious!”

Stratus is smiling now, so wide it might have seen blinded him if he didn’t focus on that seashell……. necklace….. thing….

“There’s this really great place that most of the students live in. We call it: (drumroll) College Student St.”

“College Student St.?”

“It’s a long story, but I can give you a map to the place if you like.”

Reluctantly, Virgil accepted the map and said goodbye.

\- - - - - - - - - - - -

  
Checking that he had the right place, Virgil closed the map and walked into the Community House™. However, he was shocked to open the door to find a coffee shop.

“Hey welcome to this place what can I do for ya?”

The man behind the counter greeted him. This man had light brown hair and was wearing black jeans, a white shirt, sunglasses, and a leather jacket.

“I was, ah, I was told that a lot of college students live here?”

At that the man brightened up.

“Well if that’s the case! Emile’s office is in the back, he’ll get you settled in.”

Tentatively, Virgil followed the man’s advice and walked to a door in the back of the shop with a sign that proudly proclaimed: Dr. Picani.

Inside a nice man with sandy blond hair in a beige cardigan, pink tie, and glasses.

“Why hey there! Do you need something?”

“Ah yes. The man behind the counter said you could help me get settled in.”

Emile’s eyes shone with understanding.

“Oh yeah, his name is Remy by the way. He runs the coffee shop. Anyway, sit down for a bit. I’m just going to ask you a couple of questions…….”

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - 

  
An hour after Virgil went to get a dorm he finally had a place to stay, he had been assigned house 6102. Emile also told him that he would have 3 roommates, also freshman. This became a certain fact when he saw 2 cars and a motorcycle in the driveway.

He rang the doorbell and heard some crashes from inside the house.

“I’ll get it!”

The door opened to a preppy blond covered in freckles wearing glasses and a cat hoodie.

“Heya kiddo! Anything I can do for you?”

“I was assigned to this house as your roommate.”

“That’s wonderful! My name is Patton Morale, and you?”

“Virgil Stoe, can I please come in now?”

“Why of course come in!”

The floor plan was pretty simple. It had 2 floors. The first floor had an open kitchen that looked into the living room, which contained a TV and a L-shaped couch, and a simple bathroom. The second floor has 4 bedrooms along with 2 bathrooms.

And the inside of the house was quite a scene. The stove looked like someone was cooking something but abandoned it to answer the door. There was a man sitting in the middle of the living room surrounded by cables for what seemed to be the TV. And Wait For It was playing at full blast on someone’s speaker.

Then suddenly, a _(rather attractive)_ man in a bathrobe and a face mask ran down the stairs.

“HAS ANYONE SEEN MY MAKEUP??? I’VE GOT REHEARSAL IN HALF AN HOUR AND I CAN’T AFFORD TO BE LATE-”

“Woah, woah, woah there kiddo! Slow down! Roman let me introduce you to our new roommate Virgil Stoe. Virgil, this is Roman Prince.”

Roman finally slowed down enough to notice that Virgil was there. The two wild gays locked eyes. _(oh no he’s hot-)_

“Oh ah, good greetings.”

“Sup.”

Patton beamed,

“And this,” he motioned toward the man on the floor, “is Logan Berrett.”

“Salutations.”

Everyone paused after that, not knowing what to do next.

“Well I’m going to go unpack now.”

Virgil started to walk upstairs, but paused.

“Oh yeah and Princey,” Virgil tossed him a pouch that he pulled out of his bag, “you can borrow my makeup.”

And with that, Virgil went upstairs to claim the last room. Which, thankfully, had spider-patterned wallpaper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman legit swooned when Virgil lent him that makeup.


	3. The neighbors attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> establish the neighbors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that I forgot to post yesterday, but this chapter has LENGTH so I hope that helps.

Virgil was almost done unpacking. 

He got his posters up (The Holy Emo Trilogy of course), had his flag hung, his sheets on, desk made, and was almost done putting his clothes in his closet. 

In this time; Logan had re-wired the TV, Patton had made some cookies, and Princey had come back from rehearsal and returned his makeup.

He finished hanging up his clothes and went downstairs…. just in time to hear the doorbell ring.

Sighing, he went to open the door.

……....And immediately slammed it shut.

“Awww come on’ new neighbor, can’t I just say _hiiiiii_?”

The commotion managed to draw his roommates to the scene. Reluctantly he opened the door, this time to properly welcome Stratus.

“What do you want, spy-man?”

Logan and Princey shared a knowing look, having also met Stratus, Patton however looked a little lost.

“I’m sorry but..... How do you all know each other?” Patton asked.

Logan responded, “This is Stratus Spear-” “Heyo!” “-he was working at the dormitory office when I had been there. And, judging by their reactions, Roman and Virgil had also met him the same way.”

Patton suddenly got a look of understanding, “That explains it! I went straight to the Community House™ and didn’t bother to stop at the dorms.”

Stratus suddenly looked confused, “Wait how did you know to go to the Community House™? I thought all freshmen usually ended up there?”

“Oh yeah. My sister told me about this place before she came here, so I already knew where to go~”

“That explains it!”

Before the conversation permanently spiralled out of control Virgil interrupted them.

“Yeah okay, that’s neat and all, but why are you here?”

Stratus turned toward him, looking a little embarrassed.

“Right, sorry for getting a bit off track there. Anyway, I came here to invite you guys over for dinner!”

Virgil quirked an eyebrow at that.

“Of course we will!!”

Surprisingly (or not), it was Princey who had that particular outburst.

“I agree,” Logan responded, “this will be a good opportunity to get to know the people we will live beside for the next year.”

Patton was nodding his head as well. It seemed that all of Virgil’s roommates wanted to go, however he did not.

Virgil started walking back towards the stairs, “Well you guys have fun! I’m going back to my room-”

“Hold it the Mr. Dark and Stormy Night!” Princey grabbed his arm before he could make it. “This is the perfect opportunity to meet our neighbors! Come on!”

As his roommates basically dragged him out of the house Virgil cursed the moment he stepped foot in this place.

  
\- - - - - - - - - 

  
The moment they entered the house Stratus called out to his roommates,

“I HAVE BROUGHT THE SACRIFICES BROTHER.”

“BRING THEM TO THE FEASTING LOUNGE.”

“Well you heard the man. Let’s go!”

As Stratus walked towards the kitchen the boys glanced at each other _(what the fu-)_ before following along.

They walked into the kitchen to see a younger version of Stratus cooking some food. The young Stratus looked almost identical to Stratus except for a few minor details. His hair was more of a sandy blonde and he had a very muscular build.

“Yo,” young Stratus called out, “food’s ready.”

“Great! I’ll go get Shelly.”

And with that Stratus was gone.

Young Stratus picked up a dish and smiled at them, “Why don’t we have a seat?”

By the time they had all sat down at the table Stratus had returned with a disheveled looking girl and sat down. She had bright orange hair that looked like a lion mane, hot pink rimmed glasses, and came down in only her baggy flannel pajamas. 

“Hahahahaa, this is awkward…. How about some introductions? As you all know I’m Stratus Spear. I’m a senior in college and I’m majoring in engineering”

“Micah Spear, I’m a senior at the Sanders High, and I’m there on an athletic scholarship.”

"Ah, the University's biggest feeder school." Logan added.

“Shelly Carnon, junior in college, majoring in marine biology.”

“Patton Morale, freshman in college, I'm majoring in baking and pastry arts.”

“Logan Berrett, freshman in college, I happen to be dual majoring in technology and biology.”

“Roman Prince here! Freshman in college, major in playwriting and screenwriting!”

“Ugggghhh, and I’m Virgil Stoe. Freshman in college. And I’m- not going to tell you my major.”

There was a pause.

“WHA-”

“Now kiddo-”

“Why not-”

“Come on-”

“Hmmm-”

However, it was Shelly who spoke out the loudest.

“Dude really?!? We all shared ours, it’s only fair!”

“Fiiiiine-” Virgil sighed, “I’m…….. an art major……….._ tada~_”

“See it wasn’t THAT bad.” Shelly smirked.

“Haha yeah reeeal funny. Can we move on to something else now?”

This seemed to draw in Stratus’ attention. “Sure! So patton, tell us more about your sister.”

Patton beamed, “Ok, so my sister, Sam, was a business major. While she was here she lived with 4 other people. One of them happened to be her future wife, Mariah, who double majored in civil engineering and architecture. They now own a construction company just a bit away!”

“Wow Pat that’s really neat.”

“Thanks! So Stratus why don’t you tell us more about you and Micah?”

The Spear siblings looked at each other.

“Well to begin-”

“Don’t.”

“Whaaaaat~ I was just going to tell them about my necklace~”

Stratus was wearing an ‘innocent’ smile while fiddling with the, incredibly strange, googly-eye-seashell-necklace.

Micah was pouting.

“No.”

“NO, NO, NO, please do tell us.” Princey teased.

Logan had an interesting look in his eyes, “I do have to admit that the necklace is quite peculiar…”

“I bet it’s quite an entertaining tale~”

“Oh it is~”

Shelly and Virgil shared a look, a mutual friendship was formed.

Throughout all of this, however, Patton was giving Micah his puppy eyes. And that was what finally broke him.

“Oooooof fine. Tell them.”

“Yayyyyyy.” Stratus was almost cackling, “So, I happened to enjoy collecting seashells when I was little. I had them all out in front of me one day when Micah came in. He pointed towards some of them and asked if he could use them. Now, I love him, I really do. And since the ones he pointed to weren’t too special I let him have them. An hour later he comes up towards me and says he’s made me a gift~~”

Micah is groaning into his hands at this point.

“Of course I accept it. And then he pulls out- THIS!”

Stratus proudly shows off his necklace while Micah dies.

“At first I was a little weirded out, I mean he glued googly eyes to seashells and gave it to me as a necklace, but I just didn’t have the heart to turn him down!”

They were all laughing now, even Micah was chuckling. The story just sounded so childish and stupid-

“Anyway,” Stratus said after they had calmed down, “anyone else have any siblings here?”

Princey sighed, “Well I have a brother, he’s my twin. He goes to another college nearby. But I don’t want to talk about him...”

“Why?” Shelly asked, “Are you embarrassed?”

“N-NO! It’s just that he’s so… he’s so… HE’S JUST SO WEeeeIRD!!!” Princey cried.

“Hmmm… I’ve met someone pretty weird before. He’s probably a pro trash collector by now...” Virgil muttered.

“FLASH TRUST GAME!” Stratus screamed, “On the count of 3 we all shout out our sexualities ready?!?”

“Wait what??”

_"I don't entirely agree with this-"_

“3-2-1 GO!”

“I’m Gay”

“I’m Gay”

“I’m Gay”

“I’m Gay”

(They share a look, _strange_)

“I’m Ace but I’m also Biromantic…”

“I’m a Lesbian”

“And I’m a Pandemic!” Stratus proudly proclaimed.

“I’m sorry, but what happens to be a Pandemic?” Logan inquired.

“Oh, it means that I’m Demisexual and Panromantic.”

“Satisfactory, thank you.”

“Well, looks like we’re a gathering of noodles.” Virgil paused, “Cause none of us are very s_t_r_a_i_g_h_t_.”

“Tru.”

“Ye.”

“Factual.”

“Amen.”

“Fact.”

“Welp it’s getting pretty late!” Patton exclaimed. “We should probably head back now-”

“Awww really!? Classes don’t start for another 3 days!!! Let’s have a moving marathon or something!!!” Stratus whined.

“DISNEY!!!!”

“YEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!”

Needless to say they all stayed up till 3 am watching Disney movies and regretted very much later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was a bit OC-centric, but the next several chapters are focused on the boys so please forgive me.


	4. Time skip- ITS CLASS TIME BBY PREPARE TO DIEEEE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> classes begin and we get to see Patton make snacks for them all, Logan study himself until Patton says to stop, Roman putting on a fashion show, and Virgil falling asleep on the couch and peeps catching dem feeeeeeeeeeels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title just;; says it all doesn't it?

A few days had passed since the neighbors attacked. Now that classes have begun however, they’ll all have to work a lot harder to manage their time.

For Roman the effects were fairly obvious. He was spending more and more time in the bathroom, and less time in the house. At times he would come home and outwardly cry out in anguish and then flop on the floor.

For Logan the stress was more subtle. It was mostly little things, like how his shoulders drooped. Or the more times he could be found typing things on his computer. However the most obvious evidence was the stronger the coffee kept on getting in the morning, not that anyone was complaining. They seriously needed it.

For Virgil it was always there. He would spend as much time in his room as possible, only really coming out for meals. Every once and a while he would come out to clean some paint off or art supplies. On the rare occasion that he decided to ‘chill’ outside of his room it would just be him on his phone sitting on something strange. Some of the most notable places being; the fridge, in the shelves, backwards on the stairs, in the shower, and a very…. unique…. experience on the roof.

For Patton he took it in stride. He would come home with new sweets he made every day for the others. He would prepare meals to make sure they had eaten that day. If he saw one of them was upset he would ask them what was wrong, and then they would just talk.

But, through the haze of madness that comes with beginning classes, there were still good moments.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - -

  
The boys were studying together one night when Patton excused himself. Being too caught up in their work, everyone just shrugged it off. 

Later Patton came back holding a plate of hot cookies. Needless to say it was a very productive night.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - -

  
Logan was having a rough night. It was only a week into school and he already had a paper due the next day. He was pulling an all nighter to get this paper done perfectly, but it was putting a strain on him.

It was currently 1 am, he had finished his paper half an hour ago, but was taking the time to double, no, triple check it. He just couldn’t shake off the feeling that there was still something wrong with it.

Patton walked by, for the 6th time that night. 

“Hey Lo, the paper looks good now. It’s time to go to bed, you have class in the morning!”

Sighing Logan gave in, “Fine. Thank you Patton. Good night.”

“Night.”

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - 

  
“GuYs I NEed YOuR HELPPPP-” Princey shrieked.

“What is it Princey?”

“It’s just that….. I just went shopping the other day, but my closet is full and I have nowhere to put my new clothes. So…. *sniffile* I’ll have to *sniffle* _I’LL HAVE TO THROW SOME OF THEM AWAAAYYYYY!!!_” Princey sobbed.

“If that’s what’s bothering you kiddo then of course we can help!” 

“*sniffile* Really?”

“Yeah! All we gotta do is help you get rid of some!”

“WHAT NO!!!”

“Patton is right you know. The most plausible answer to this dilemma is to just remove the excess items.”

“But… but I just can’t choose between my babies!”

“Oh think about it Princey.” Virgil spoke up, “Some of those clothes have got to be outdated,” (offended Princey noises) “_And_ you can donate those clothes to others who are less fortunate in order for them to be fashionable as well.”

Everyone was silent for a bit, just staring at Virgil.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just for once you’ve said something really sensible.”

“Hmph, I’m not always the bad guy you know.”

“Of course not kiddo! Now, how about you go pick out some clothes from your closet to show to us and we can vote for you to keep them or not.”

In the end Princey put on a fashion show where the judges had to try _very_ hard not to let their gay show.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - 

  
Virgil was downstairs on the couch watching reruns of old TV shows. He hadn’t gotten a proper night’s sleep all week, and the couch was just _sooooo_ comfy. So he figured that he could just get some shut eye for a bit and be gone back into his bedroom before any of the others even noticed.

Unfortunately, his body had other plans.

Having only survived on a shitstorm combination of rage, spite, and caffeine for the past 7 days when he decided to ‘get some shut eye’ his body passed right out. Making him virtually unwakeable for the next who-knows-how-long.

Logan was the first one to find him. Logan had gone down to brew some coffee and get some reading done when he spotted Virgil sleeping on the couch. He frowned. It wasn’t good for his back to sleep like that. Nevertheless he knew how much Virgil needed sleep and simply put a blanket over him and then went on to making the coffee.

Patton was next. He had gotten down to get breakfast ready for all his kiddos when he spotted one of them on the couch. Someone (no doubt Logan) had placed a blanket over him. He smiled softly at himself and continued on to make breakfast. Once he was done he placed a cup of coffee in front of him as well as some pancakes and a note.

Princey was the last to notice. He had slept through his alarm and was rushing downstairs in order to get to class on time. He had passed through the kitchen to grab some food real quick and was headed toward the door when he noticed him.

This caused him to stop. He stared at Virgil for a bit, he just looked so non-threatening while asleep. Not quite at peace, but not as on edge either. Looking around to make sure no one else was there, he leaned down and gave his Emo Nightmare a quick peck on the cheek.

His face was still flushed a dark red by the time he got to class that day. If it was from the kiss or the exercise he wouldn’t be able to tell you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, nothing like some good old gay fluff to end a chapter.


	5. Is Logan does Friendship?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton wants Logan to go to a neighborhood event, Roman needs help practicing, and Logan notices Virgil is extremely stressed Bonus: Logan and Stratus interact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A question researchers have been asking for years...

Logan was sitting at the coffee table doing some work when Patton called out to him.

“Hey Lo?”

He looked up, “What is it Patton?’’

“There’s a neighborhood potluck tonight, and since Virgil and Roman have class I was wondering if you would join me?”

Logan sighed, “I’m sorry Patton but I have work to do.”

“Oh, that’s ok. Well I’m going to head out to it now. Bye.”

“Farewell.”

An hour later Logan still hadn’t gotten any more work done. It’s not that he didn’t want to get any work done. Quite the opposite really. But every time he tried to start again the image of Patton’s sad eyes appeared in his head and he just….. couldn’t…..

Sighing, Logan grabbed his coat and headed towards the direction of the Community House™.

Patton caught sight of him immediately.

“Lo! You made it!!” He was positively beaming, and Logan couldn’t help but smile as well.

“Yes, it seems I had less work than I originally thought.”

“That’s amazing! Here let me show you some _reeeally_ amazing dishes!”

That night Patton dragged him around, they ate food and talked to other residents of the neighborhood. At one point they managed to find the Spear brothers. Patton and Stratus spiralled into a contest to find the best cat pictures (which ended in a draw), while Micah and Logan _somehow_ started debating politics.

And when Logan had to pull an all-nighter in his room in order to finish his work, he couldn’t help but feel content with his actions.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - 

  
Roman had needed some help practicing lines. He wasn’t the best at rapping. It wasn’t that he was bad at it, he just wasn’t the best. 

So when his enemy’s lines required a rap battle, he couldn’t do it alone.

He went downstairs to find the closest person to rap with him, which happened to be Logan.

“Hey Logan!”

“What is it Roman?”

“Can you help me practice my lines? I need someone to rap against me.”

“Sure, I don’t see why not.”

Needless to say, Logan absolutely crushed him. But Roman couldn’t bring it within himself to care.

“Wow Logan! You really know how to rap!”

“Thank you. I happen to have an appreciation for poetry.”

Eventually, Roman dragged Logan into performing Guns and Ships with him. Which evolved to include My Shot. Which evolved into performing an abridged version of Hamilton that would work for two people.

You could say that in the end they were both _Satisfied_ with how the situation developed.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - -

  
Logan had noticed that Virgil was stressing more and more these past few days. When asked about it he simply responded with,

“Classes are just getting to me.”

Logan highly doubted that, but nevertheless accepted the answer. However he still wanted to find a way to get rid of even a little of his worries.

So when he heard My Chemical Romance was getting back together, he immediately bought two tickets to the nearest show. Virgil was ecstatic.

“Oh my god, Logan you are an angel.”

“That’s a bit of a stretch. Biologically I am a human-”

“Just accept the compliment.”

“Ah well, um thank you.”

Virgil smirked, “That’s my line.”

That night was the most Logan had seen Virgil smile since they had met. Virgil had taken the chance to get some merchandise, and Logan had to admit, the music was more to his taste than he had expected.

When they pulled back up to the house Virgil turned toward Logan.

“Thanks again for tonight Logan, I had a blast.”

“Your welcome.”

Virgil gave him one more smile before exiting the car. And Logan couldn’t help but think, ‘Maybe I should check out some of those other bands he likes?’

  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Bonus ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  
Stratus was in jail at the moment. The cause of all this sat on the table in front of him; a Cop sat on the other side.

“Now young man, do I need to tell you why you are here?”

“.....Yes?”

This only seemed to make the Cop madder.

“You are here cause we found you trying to sell THIS-” He held up one of the items, “In a back alley.”

The items in question were bags of mysterious white powder.

“What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Ah well,” Stratus stumbled for words, “umm, it’s kinda hard to explain..”

At that moment Logan burst into the police office.

“YOU IDIOTS-” He then snatched one of the bags off the table and downed the contents.

The others in the room were shookith.

“This-” Logan held up the (now empty) bag, “is Smartie. Powder.”

At this the Cop’s eyes went wide. He immediately started examining the bag he was holding more closely. Eventually he dumped the contents on the table and sniffed it. 

“Ah,” the Cop said, embarrassed, “it really is Smartie Powder..”

The police let him go and paid him $20 to keep his mouth shut about the whole situation. Stratus just smiled and went along with it.

While they were driving back (in Logan’s car), Stratus turned towards Logan.

“Hey, how did you know that it was Smartie Powder?”

“I didn’t.”

Stratus paused _(he was crying so hard on the inside, cause Logan was such a **Bro**)_, but then settled on a smirk.

“Dork.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The answer is Yes.


	6. He has come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys go get coffee and meet someone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting to post this for sooooo long, hope you enjoy :)

Things had calmed down enough that they finally got the chance to stop worrying about classes. What did they decide to do with this time? They hung out of course! Seeing that their schedules were all free they decided to check out the Community House™, the coffee shop not the place to get relocated.

The only one of them that have had the chance to properly check out the shop was Virgil (_cause caffeiiiiiineeee_), so for everyone else this was a new experience.

The place itself had a pretty simple design. The walls are a soft tan color that complimented the dark wood floor. The wall to the right was a giant window, while the wall to the left displayed a small stage accompanied by a big cork-board. 

The cork-board was casually used to post events. Lost your cat? Post it. Having a party next weekend? Post it. You and your friends are volunteering for a charity event but there aren’t enough volunteers total so you need more or else the event would be canceled? Post it. Some of the staff at the school even use it to remind students of upcoming tests or assignments. All in all the cork-board was one of the best ways to spread information.

The rest of the empty space on the walls were taken over by pictures of watercolor coffee and misty woods. (_for the aesthetic-_)

Most of the tables were circular and scattered around the room. The only exception being the series of rectangular tables with couch seating that lined the opening of the shop.

Entering the shop they were greeted by a fairly pleasant sight. The only other customers being a few students that all seemed to be busy within their own work. Remy could be seen mounting the counter, seemingly absorbed in something on his phone.

“Hey Remy, I brought my roommates. We’ve come for the life juice.” Virgil deadpanned.

Remy met his tone with his equally done with life one, “Dark like your soul?”

“Of course.”

“Greaaaat.” Remy sighed and turned toward the others, “What about you guys.”

“I will have the same as Virgil.”

“Hot cocoa please.”

“Pumpkin spice latte with extra whip.”

“So two lethal-coffees, one chocolate juice, and a basic white chick in the fall?”

“Sure.”

“That’ll be $11.98”

They all reach for their wallets but Virgil beat them to the punch.

“Just put it on my tab.”

“Got it gurl.”

They looked at him.

“Virgil, you do understand that we all are willing to pay for our own drinks yes?” Logan tried.

“I know.” Logan let out a relieved sigh. “But I paid for them all anyway. You guys can just owe me later.”

This time Logan’s sigh was just exasperated. “Fine.”

Virgil turned toward Remy, “So, how are things going with Emile?”

“Absolutely perfect.” Remy said with a smile. “His birthday is next weekend and I plan to surprise him with a meet and greet with the Steven Universe cast.”

“Tell me how it goes.”

“Will do.” Remy replied while handing them their drinks. “Here’s your lifeblood.”

“Later~”

They sat down at one of the tables near the opening.

“Sooo…” Princey started, “You two seem... close.”

Virgil snorted, “I come here for caffeine Princey what do you expect?”

“Not much really.”

“Good.”

“Anyway, do you guys have any pets? I know Logan’s parents have a cat.” Patton asked.

“How do you know Logan’s parents have a cat?” 

“Ah well since I’m allergic when I first met him I started sneezing cause he had cat fur still on him. It’s not too bad that I could die but it is annoying.”

“Hmm well that explained that.” Roman accepted. “My cousin has a parrot named Parry, after Katie Perry. I would teach her song and we would sing THE BEST DUETS IN _ALL THE LAND-_”

“Wow extra much?” Virgil retorted, which resulted in many offended Princy noises. “I had a gerbil named Gubbels, and while you were busy singing songs, I taught Gubbels the blade.”

Logan looked confused, “But…. gerbils can’t wield knives…..”

“Normally they can’t.” Virgil agreed, “But I hand crafted a blade for Gubbels out of an exacto knife. He would use it to eat food, like a civilized gentleman.”

“Wait,” Princey interrupted, “you said ‘had’, did….. did something happen to Gubbels?”

Virgil got a bit of a mournful look in his eye, but that was quickly replaced by a droll smile.

“He died in his sleep when I was in middle school. But it’s fine.” Virgil reassured them, “Me and my old friends cremated his ashes then returned his remains to the wild.”

“That…” Patton began, “is a bit concerning kiddo…”

Virgil just smiled at him. Like that could convey everything.

At that moment Logan had a sip of the so-called ‘lethal-coffee’....... and almost spat it right back out.

“Virgil, I am deeply worried about your choice in coffee.”

“What about it?”

“The amount of caffeine in this is ridiculous. One spoon of this would likely keep a person up for 2 hours straight-.”

“(_-gay_) I don’t see the problem?”

Logan sighed, “Ok, let me put it this way. If you continue to drink this regularly you expose yourself to serious risk of heart problems.”

Patton and Princey gasped at that, and immediately turned towards Virgil as well.

“Kiddo..”

“No Pat. I’m not changing my order.”

“Kiddo……..”

“I-I said no Pat!”

“Kiddo!!!!!!”

At this point Patton had brought out his **BIGGEST, _SADDEST, MOST EFFECTIVE_** puppy eyes that he had. And Virgil had to give in.

“Fine Pat.” Virgil conceded, “I’ll change my order to a normal dark roast. And before you ask, no I won’t go any lower than that.”

Patton still looked a little upset, but nevertheless accepted the compromise.

  
\- - - - - - - -

  
They had stayed in the shop for another hour, just sitting there and talking about things. Until eventually they decided to head into town. Since they had all lived in different areas they weren’t entirely familiar with the city, so they took this time to go sightseeing.

At the moment they were wandering around downtown, Logan and Princey had wanted to stop at a book/old DVD shop. So Patton and Virgil were outside the shop when they heard some strange noises coming from a nearby alley.

Tentatively, they edged around the corner to find……someone halfway inside a dumpster.

“Ummm… excuse me? Sir are you alright?” Patton called out.

The man popped out from the dumpster and turned toward them, Virgil stiffened.

“Sir???? That’s a mighty fancy way to refer to _ME_!!” The man cheered, “Anywho~~ I was just diggin’ through the trash, ya’know, cause it's Saturday!”

Now that they had a better look at the man, they could tell that he looked _extremely_ similar to Princey. The main differences being that the man had a forelock, a mustache, and a generally more unkempt appearance featuring more black, green, and _trash_.

“Hey guys we’re done! Wait why are you over there?”

At this point, Logan and Princey had finished in the shop and had come out to find them. Once they had caught up with them Princey turned to see what they were looking at... and screamed.

“WOW that’s the 17th time I’ve been greeted that way this year! I must be getting _lucky_~!” The man smirked. “It _does_ lose a bit of it’s meaning coming from you though.”

“Roman, do you know this man?”

“Yeah…..” Princey hesitated, “this... is my…twin….. brother….”

A pause.

“WHAT?!” Logan and Patton exclaimed, Virgil however remained silent.

“*sigh* It’s not THAT hard to tell, we look almost identical!”

“I’m sorry, it’s just that,” Logan attempted, “he looks so... different from you.”

“Yeah we kinda just, aged out of the whole samesies thing.”

Remus turned back toward them, having lost interest during the conversation and resorted back to dumpster diving. This time, however, he took the time to have a good look at the people there.

“....Vi?...” Remus whispered.

Virgil looked up………… and immediately charged at him.

Having anticipated the attack, Remus had just enough time to dodge and aimed a punch at Virgil. Virgil, having excellent reflexes, managed to block the punch using his forearm. Remus used the distraction to try and sweep out his legs, however he jumped over it. Taking the opportunity Virgil, _fucking_, judo-flipped Remus onto his ass. Remus _tried_ to stand up again, but his efforts were quickly shut down via Virgil swiftly putting his foot down on him.

“Good to know you missed me!” Remus huffed and held up a hand.

Virgil took it and helped him up. “Same to you.”

“...Ok I don’t know what the _fuck_ is going on.”

“Language!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've decided to try my hand at cliffhangers..... what do you think?


	7. Ok wait just- let me explain-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahh yes, backstory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you guys know, I literally woke up this morning because I remembered that I needed to post this.

What followed was a silence so pregnant it could have naturally held nonuplets. They all just sort of stood and stared. No one knew a good way to break the silence.

The sound of steps approaching from the opposite end of the alley could be heard. A man with a massive scar covering half of his face wearing a yellow turtleneck, black skinny jeans and combat boots came toward them. He was holding 6 grocery bags and was looking down at his phone, not seeming to realize the amount of people filling the alley.

“Hey babe, I got the stuff so if you're done here-” the man looked up. “_Vi_?”

He immediately dropped everything and ran towards him, Virgil also sprinting to meet up with him. When they met in the center both of them enveloped each other in a tight embrace.

“Oh my god I never thought I would be able to see you again-”

“I know, I know.”

“I was so worried-”

“I know.”

“I never thought I would see you again I- I missed you…”

“M-me too…”

Virgil and the man retreated back into silence, and just hugged each other for a good 5 minutes before Logan interrupted.

“I’m sorry to intrude on this, I’m assuming, important moment. But if I may ask, how do you happen to know each other?”

Virgil, having realized what he was doing, released his hold, “It’s- it’s a long story. How about we head back to the house and then we’ll explain. Ok?”

Everyone slowly nodded and started walking back to the house.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - 

  
After they had all settled down and made themselves comfortable in the living room Virgil broke the tension.

“So, I think I should start explaining…”

“NO SHIT!” Remus yelled, “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN! YOU LEFT WITHOUT A TRACE! WE THOUGHT YOU DIED!!!!”

“Yeah Vi,” the man chimed in, “would it kill you to leave a _note_?”

“Yes.” Virgil deadpanned.

“Oh wait, we don’t know your name!” Patton turned to the yet-to-be-named-man.

“Shit-” “Language!” “-you’re right. My name is Dakota, but everybody just calls me Dee.”

“Wait, are you _the_ Dee?” Princey blurted.

“_The_ Dee?”

“The one Re’s had a crush on since _kindergarten_!”

“Huh,” Dee snorted, “yeah I guess so~”

“This is nice and all, but no one has answered the question on how you all-” Logan gestures to Virgil, Dee, and Remus who were sitting on the coffee table,and the reclining chair, and it’s armrest, “-know each other.”

“Riiight, right. That’s what we were supposed to be doing.” Virgil said, “Now where do I begin…..”

  
\- - - - - - - - - -

  
Virgil was having a bad day. It was his first day of middle school and he hadn’t done a thing. He just went around in silence, no one noticed him, not even his teachers. When the day was over he started to head back but remembered that it was Tuesday, arts and crafts day. Not wanting to spend the afternoon covered in macaroni, he turned around and headed to the park.

Finding a good place in the shade, he set down his bag and took out his notebook. Opening it up, he turned to a random page and started doodling. He quickly became invested in his work.

After an hour or so he had completed a full picture. It was of a rogue bard relaxing peacefully in a clearing with a dragon, enjoying each other’s company.

“Hey that’s pretty good!”

Virgil jumped and turned around, two boys around his age had snuck up on him. One was bent down, probably to look at what he had been drawing. While the other was standing just a ways behind, looking on curiously.

“Um… thanks?”

“Your Welcome!” the one dressed in green cheered, “My name is Remus! And this is Dee!”

“V-Virgil.”

Remus smiled, “Hey, you wanna hit the block and get some of that good good frozen lactose?”

“Wh- what?”

Dee sighed, “He wants to know if you wanna get ice-cream.”

“Yes! Yes! That! Pleeease? I don’t have that many friends and my brother abandoned me for the THEATRE and I was left with only Dee <strike>(not that I’m complaining)</strike>, but we’re still super lonely and want a new _frieeeend~_” Remus begged.

“S- sure….”

They spent the next two hours talking about, well, anything. Virgil learned that they had known each other since diapers and quickly realized that they held big fat gay crushes on each other. They learned about how Virgil loved drawing and hoped to make a living out of it. Oh yeah and memes, they shared a lot of memes with each other. 

But Virgil knew this likely wasn’t going to last. They never really did, not once they found out. They always end up finding reasons to split up.

‘Sorry, I’ve got too much homework, maybe next time.’

‘Ah man I forgot, sorry.’

‘I’ve already got plans, sorry.’

‘Just- just stay away, it’s not you, it’s me. _Sorry_.’

The sky was getting dark now, he definitely had to start heading back now if he didn’t want to make them worried. Virgil made a decision, he would tell them now. Better to cut it off before it became too damaging right? He gathered up his courage.

“Hey guys-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: at the very begining I decided to research what the most amount of children that can be born was and I found out that nonuplets is when 9 are born.
> 
> (2/16/20) Fun fun fact: I just remembered that when picking Dee's name it was tied between Dakota and Decatur


	8. The story continues....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finishing the flashback~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha, yeah uh.... sorry for forgetting to post this on Friday. I was busy till nine and then I just kinda;; forgot... Good news though! We found out that one of my siblings got into college! So that was exciting! Also a bit ironic considering that I'm talking about it on THIS fic of all things...… Anyway I hope you enjoy the chapter!

“Hey guys-” Virgil interrupted, Remus and Dee whipped towards him. Having been stuck in a heated debate about octopuses and snakes or….. something.

“Yeah what is it?” Dee questioned.

“I-um I gotta head back to the orphanage now, or else the workers are going to get worried.”

“Oh, well see you later.” They let him go. He didn’t know how to feel, on one hand they didn’t immediately seem too off-put by it. On the other they weren’t outwardly accepting of it either. He sighed once he was a good block away and decided the worst. Looks like he wouldn’t be getting any new friends this year either.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - -

  
The next day he decided to head back to the ice-cream place (the ice-cream was _good_\- that’s _all_).

Opening the door he saw that Dee and Remus were sitting at the same table as yesterday, with…. _4_ ice-creams? Remus looked up at the sound of the door and locked eyes with him.

“HEy Vi there you are!!! We already got you some ice-cream!!! Come _HEEEREEE_!!!”

Virgil stood there, shocked, for a second. Before realizing that he was standing in a doorway and sat down.

They started a lively conversation as usual, started by Remus and his two ice-creams (what kind of man gets pea butter and pickles as ice-cream flavors??), and Virgil found that he was enjoying himself. But…. he just couldn’t get one thing off his mind….

“Ummm, this might be a weird thing to bring up but… are you guys really ok with me being an... orphan?” Virgil tentatively asked.

“_HHmmMMmm_? Why wouldn’t we be?” Remus questioned back. 

Virgil let out a sigh of relief, “Oh thank god, it’s just some people in the past didn’t want to be friends with me cause of it-”

“Who?”

Virgil jumped. Remus looked completely serious, even going as far to emit a literal dark-aura.

“I-it’s not that big of a deal- um- ah- Dee help me out here?”

“No Virgil,” Dee answered, “I am also interested in who these…. people may be.”

Now that Virgil had turned to Dee he could see that he had a matching dark-aura. But while Remus’ aura was _I’ll-muder-you-ten-times-over-until-you-beg-for-the-void_, Dee’s was more of a _I-will-ruin-everything-that-you-love-and-everything-that-you-are-until-your-life-is-cold-and-empty-and-I-will-force-you-to-grovel-in-it-like-the-pig-you-are_.

“Guys really- it’s ok!” Virgil exclaimed, “I haven’t seen them in years!”

“*sigh* Fine,” Dee caved, “but remember that we’ll always be here ok?”

Virgil smiled, “Of course.”

After that the conversation slowly turned to other topics, and Virgil was able to go back that night and tell the worker that he had finally made some proper friends. The smile on her face made him feel truly proud of his accomplishment.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - 

  
Virgil (now back in the present) turned toward Dee and Remus.

“Look- I know I had left out of the blue but- I… I had gotten adopted, and the family lived out of state, and I just….. I didn’t know how to tell you... I wasn’t sure how to bring it up, and I was waiting for a good moment but- it just- it just never came…”

Virgil looked down, not wanting to meet their gaze. After a moment he heard some movement so he tentatively held his head up….

Only to have it immediately crushed by two people tackle-hugging him off the table.

“YOU IDIOT-” Dee shouted, “YOU COULD OF BROUGHT IT UP ANYTIME! WE WOULD HAVE LISTENED! INSTEAD YOU JUST HAD TO GO AND DISAPPEAR ON US! YOU-You- you didn’t even leave a note…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me two.”

“Me three, but hey!” Remus added, “At least we’re back together now!”

This caused all three of them to chuckle.

“Well,” Patton started. The three in the middle turned toward him, having been so absorbed in their reunion that they didn’t notice how Logan, Patton, and Princey had gone deathly silent. “I think we should give you some space-”

“Nonsense!” Remus screamed, “Stay! Join us! You’re Vi’s new friends and we must ... evaluate you…..” Remus gave them a slow look, lingering on Princey for a solid minute.

“WhY ArE yOu LiNgErInG On mE?? I’m yOuR bRoThEr??” Princey squeaked.

“Exactly, I must judge you harder.” (Offended and slightly fearful Princey noises)

“So, what are we going to do?” Dee asked.

“I don’t know, does anyone have any ideas?” Virgil questioned.

Princey suddenly got a gleeful look in his eye and ran upstairs. Everyone looked confused until Princey came back downstairs with an armful of Disney DVDs.

“I have a _WONDERFUL_ idea!!!”

They spent the rest of the night watching straight-to-DVD Disney sequels while criticizing the plot and rewriting the scripts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnnd that's it for this chapter! Let me know if there's anything wrong cause I'm editing this at like 1 am and i'm …. yeah.


	9. famILY bonding pt.1 How they got together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the morning after, Dee and Vi decide to explain something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> famILY bonding was all supposed to be one part..... but then it got too long and I had to split it into 4 :/ 
> 
> ANYWAY hope you enjoy the first part of-this-got-out-of-hand-was-all-meant-to-be-one chapter!

The next morning Virgil walked downstairs at 3 am to see Dee and Remus asleep on the couch (in their _clothes_ you heathens), he didn’t think too much of it and went to make his pot of coffee. 

Slowly, the house started to wake up. By 6 am everyone was in the kitchen eating the breakfast Patton had made.

“So…” Princey started, “where have you two been staying?”

“In our dorm.” Dee responded, “We go to another college nearby, the dorms there are free so we just share one of those.”

Princey places a hand on his shoulder with a pitiful look, “I wish you luck.” 

Dee smirked, “It’s not that bad, I mean, we’re dating for a reason.”

“FUCK YOU _LOOOOOOVE_ _MEEEEEEEEEEEE_~” Remus sing-songs. Though Dee didn’t seem too bothered by the outburst, seeing as the affection between them was extremely obvious. Remus was currently sitting Dee’s lap while eating a large breakfast sausage and wiggling his eyebrows, while Dee just looked on.

“.......Well you _do_ show each other a lot of... affection.” Patton states.

Virgil scoffed, “If you think _this_ PDA is a lot, then you didn’t have to deal with them when they were _pining_ like _us_.”

“Who is ‘us’?” Logan questions.

“Me and Dee.”

“But wasn’t Dee one of the ones that were doing the ‘_pining’_?”

“Yes-”

“Exactly,” Dee nods, “that made it like, 10 times worse.”

“WAIT WHAT ABOUT ME?!?!?” Princey cries, “_I_ had to deal with it too!!”

“Yeah but _you_ didn’t have to deal with _both_ of them, in the _same room. Right. Next. To. Each. Other_.”

“Ok I concede.” Princey sulks.

“Wait,” Patton interrupts, “if what I’m hearing is correct, then you guys have pinned over each other for a long time. So….. How did you two get together?”

“Oh that was me.”

Everyone, (except Dee) turned toward Virgil in confusion.

“Wait what?”

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - 

  
It was a week before Virgil was due to leave and he was suffering. Now don’t get him wrong, he loves his friends, he really does. But the _pining_\- it was enough to drive a man insane. Even if he _had_ the courage to tell them he _still_ wouldn’t be able to tell them with all this….. _tension_….. in the air.

Currently, Virgil was standing next to Dee while Remus was getting their ice-cream. Dee was looking on with a longing expression.

“Seriously dude,” Virgil sighs, “just ask him out already. It’s obvious that he likes you back.”

“Yeah I know, but I kinda want him to be the one that asks first.”

Virgil looked confused, “What why?”

“Well, he was the one who came up to me when we first met.” Dee explained, “And when he did I could tell that it was because he thought I was hot-”

“Weren’t you in kindergarten when that happened?”

“Trust me, he was very obvious about it. But I had no friends, and I was lonely. And even though I didn’t like him back at the time, I still wanted to become his friend.” Dee was grinning, a wide, gleeful smile, “It was a decision I will never regret.”

“Wow… that's ... actually really sweet….”

“Yeah,” Dee admitted, “it really is.”

“But how will you make him do it? We both know that he thinks that you don’t like him back.”

“Hhhmmmm….. I don’t know…. maybe….. I have an idea.” 

“Care to explain?”

“We pretend to date.”

“Uh-huh, yeah. That’ll fix everything. WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??”

“Think about it, we pretend to date in order to make him jelly, then he’ll come running.”

Virgil thought over it for a second, “Hmmmm... Sure, why not?”

Dee grinned, “Perfect…”

“Wait, what’s taking him so long?”

They look back over at where Remus was _supposed_ to be ordering ice-cream, only to see that he had given up and was sitting next to a flaming trash can outside. They both sighed.

“Let’s go get him.”

  
\- - - - - - - - - - -

  
“Soo…. we’re dating now.”

Virgil and Dee were currently ‘breaking the news’ to Remus about their ‘relationship’. But Remus was taking it surprisingly well.

“HUH- ok! Wanna see some memes I found on the interwebs yesterday?”

And so the conversation continued as usual. Time passed and Remus showed no signs of jealousy. After 3 days, Virgil decided to call it quits.

“Ok this is ridiculous.” Virgil sighed. 

“I agree, we are getting nowhere, let’s just ‘break up’, no hard feelings.”

“None taken.”

Dee and Virgil had met up without Remus in order to ‘strategize’. At this point, both of them had practically given up and were ready to try just about anything.

“You know what, I have an idea.” Virgil huffed, “What if you went and, I don’t know, strip off your shirt and just go sit in a dumpster?”

“Sure, why the HELL NOT??”

Dee, thoroughly fed up with Remus’ _cluelessness_, just straight_(gay)_-up went and did it.

Sitting there, Dee felt strange. It wasn’t _too_ bad since the dumpster was in a back alley, but still it was _embarrassing_. 20 minutes passed and Dee was _just_ about to leave when Remus _finally_ passed by.

He paused for 0.0000001 seconds before immediately stripping off his own top (holy shit he has _ABBS??? **HOW**??!?!???!_) and joined him in.

“Sooo! Wanna make out hot-stuff????”

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - -

  
“And that is the true story of how we got together.” Dee concluded.

“Wait- THATS what happened?!?!??” Princey screamed, scandalized.

“YEP! Best day of my LIFE!!!” Remus screamed back.

The table slowly descended into chaos as Princey and Remus started an argument, Patton and Dee were making small-talk, and Virgil and Logan just watched on. Breakfast having long since passed.

“They’re not going to stop anytime soon, are they?” Logan asked while gesturing toward Princey and Remus.

“Nope, here help me clean up these plates.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not encourage anyone to do what Dee did. But just in case you were wondering, Remus could actually tell that they were fake dating because they didn't change how they acted.
> 
> Quick side-note: do you think that I should add a fake dating tag or was it too much of a brief mention to qualify?


	10. famILY bonding pt.2 Getting to know them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> da fam bonds, Pat and Dee go get peeps, trivial pursuit with Re and Lo, and Vi finds somethings out about Ro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi and welcome to part two I hope you enjoy :)

Time passed and Remus and Dee could be seen more and more at house 6102, until they practically lived there. They could be seen hanging around, sleeping on the couch, even to the point where they bought groceries and cleaned the place.

Of course they still had their dorm room, but they only went there to get something or do….. things.

Just about _everyone_ in the neighborhood was used to their presence, sometimes even getting invited to events.

That doesn’t mean that _everyone_ was completely used to them. But no one had anything against them.

Roman didn’t harbor too many feelings about Remus living there, he grew up with the guy, they’re _brothers_! And while Remus was too possessive to introduce his_ beloved boyfriend_ to him, he still told him _everything_ that they did. (the dirty-bastard only did it to brag, he _swears_) Making it so that he didn't feel strange with them there.

Logan and Patton, however... had little to none interaction with either of them. Having only had met them due to their…… reunion with Virgil.

But, in time, they learned more about each other.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  
Patton was sitting in the kitchen going over the shopping list. Logan had informed him that they needed more jam, Roman had requested some cereal, and Virgil was craving espresso beans covered in (dark) chocolate. 

Grabbing his keys he started walking to his car when he noticed someone on the couch. It was Dee.

Patton stopped and looked toward him, normally he’ll have someone go to the store with him to make sure he doesn’t get carried away. But no one else was home, and Dee was the only other person home. He felt a little bad, he had never really gotten the chance to get to know the guy.

“Hey Dee, I’m going to the store. Want to come?”

The man in question startled from his lazy position on the couch.

“Sure... why not?”

They drove to the store in slightly uncomfortable silence, the first words being spoken once the car had been parked.

“Can I see your shopping list?”

“O-oh yeah of course…”

Handing over the list, Dee looked it over then handed it back.

“I’ll get the bread, you get the cereal, and we can get the beans at checkout.”

“G-great!”

They both went their separate ways to get the items, once they had both found the items they met up in the middle of their sections and started heading toward checkout. However, something off to the side caught Patton’s eye and he stopped.

“Huh? What is it Pat-”

As soon as Dee caught sight of it he stopped as well. It was a display advertising new limited-edition snake shaped peeps. And they were on sale for 50% off.

“Oops sorry for stopping. I know it would be a waste of money but-”

“We’re getting some.” Dee interrupted.

He then walked up to the display and put around half of the boxes into the cart then walked back.

“I’ll pay for all of these don’t worry. Come on, let’s head to check-”

But Patton stopped him, a mysterious gleam in his eye.

“I have an idea, come with me.”

Patton then proceeded to drag him to several different isles until they had everything they ‘needed’.

After everything had been paid for and loaded into the car Dee turned toward Patton.

“You, my good sir, are a genius.”

Needless to say, Logan was less than pleased to return home that day and find the kitchen covered in melted peeps from Patton and Dee’s failed attempts at making smores.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - 

  
Logan and Remus had happened to have both been hanging around the living room together. Everyone else was out on some reason or another and they each had been absorbed in their own personal projects to bother each other.

That was until Remus got bored and decided to start a conversation.

“Uuughghhhhh I’m boooooooooooreed, do you do anything interesting???”

“Well, I happen to know how to make a computer out of old car parts.”

“Hmmmmm, so if I were to supply you with the parts, you could make me a computer?”

“Yes. Though I do have to warn you that it would be extremely slow.”

“Eh, nevermind. But let me guess, you’re a technology major, aren’t ch’ ya?”

“That I am, however I also happen to be majoring in biology. May I ask what your major is?”

“I don’t have one!”

“What?”

“Yeah, I just signed up for all of them <strike>(except for history, curse thy past and thou future that remains unknown, the secrets of time never to be revealed)</strike> and decided to go with the one that I have the best grades in. But they’re all tied! Not even at a fun number like 69, just a bunch of stupid 92s.”

“Well those are amazing grades, you should be proud of them-”

“OOOOOOF, I’m bored of this conversation. Let’s play a game!”

“Verywell, would ‘Trivial Pursuit’ be a good choice?”

“HELL YEAH! I’M GOING TO BEAT YOU!!!!”

“FALSEHOOD!!!”

That night Virgil came back at 12 am to find Remus and Logan playing a game of Trivial Pursuit with Patton, Princey, and Dee loudly commenting. He looked at their pieces to see that they were both only missing one triangle (Logan missing Sports, and Remus History). He sighed and walked over to Dee.

“How long have they been doing this.”

“I came back 1 hour after they had started, so roughly 5 hours.”

Virgil sighed again, this time one long and exasperated enough to make the god of Disappointed-Moms™ impressed. He then proceeded to stop the game, leaving it at a dreaded draw with promises of a rematch.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - -

  
Virgil was scared, but he wasn’t _scared_. No, this wasn’t normal fear he was feeling. Normal fear is for yourself, it causes you to cave in and stress for _your_ safety. But that wasn’t what he was feeling. Instead he felt scared for someone else. He was _scared_ for Princey.

But he didn’t tell anyone. Because no one would believe him. Not even Princey himself. Because the fear was _irrational_. Because he had no _reason_. But it was there. And it was strong.

At first it was just a small tingle. At first whenever he went out with Princey he just felt on edge. But he just brushed it off, that was just how he was. He was just worrying too much.

But then it happened. One day he and Princey had went to check out a new cafe in town. Princey had gone to the bathroom and left him by himself. Feeling a bit bored he looked out the window. And saw _Her_, looking at magazines across the street.

Now under different circumstances this would mean nothing, around 50% of the population is female after all. But he had seen _Her_ before, when he and Princey had been at the aquarium, when they went to the movies, hell, even when they had left to go to the _dry cleaners_. And _She_ turned away as soon as they met eyes, only making his suspicions _worse_.

“I’m ba- is something wrong?”

Princey had come back. Putting on his best indifferent face he replied, 

“Yeah, everything’s fine.”

He couldn’t let him know, not yet.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - 

  
That night he went home and did some research. He searched up on Princey’s life and how he got into Sanders University. After some research he learned that Princey hadn’t gotten in on money. It’s not that his family was poor, but they weren’t rich either, just average. But not much seemed to be released about his family. However, people who knew him said he had average grades, and lots of friends.

There was no reason for him to have a (potential) stalker. Except for one glaring reason. He was an _amazing_ actor.

It seems that his talents were immediately noticed by scouts as soon as he joined theatre in middle school. His young age and surplus of talent made him instantly famous among many amateur actors. To the point that he had practically become within the same league as many professionals in terms of fans by the time he finished high school. That was how he got into the university, he had already been on the scouted list for years.

Closing his laptop Virgil collapsed into his mountain of pillows. He didn’t know how to feel. He felt impressed by Princey’s talent. He felt intimidated that people like Princey even _existed_. But most of all he felt scared. More scared than he had ever been. Because for once in his life his suspicions had been confirmed. And it wasn’t even _his_ problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So,..... I know that Virgil's part seems kinda strange and unexpected... But the last two parts of famILY bonding pick up where it left off and fleshes out that part of the story soooo...….
> 
> If anyone wants be to explain anything please ask!


	11. famILY bonding pt.3 The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (past me after my beta reader decided to quit): fuck you i'm finishing this the way i want to
> 
> (me as of 2/16/20 [when i'm adding all the summaries]): wow that's a lot of aggression I had there
> 
> (the actual summary): Vi going full on anime protagonist for 9 pages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you don't even KNOW how long I've been waiting to post this, writing this was like taking boat loads of inspiration to the face during a time when I should have been asleep

He had decided to bring the topic up discreetly, it’s not like someone can just pop up and tell people that they have a stalker. That would scare him away. They were sitting on the couch, just the two of them, when he decided to bring it up.

“Hey, have you felt uncomfortable lately?”

“Hmmm?” Princey hummed, “No? Why? Do you?”

“No, no, it’s just…… I don’t know. You haven’t felt _anything_ wrong? At all?”

“Nothing. Are you sure _you’re_ ok? You seem really hung up on this…. Is there something I should know?”

“Nope, no reason. Hey wanna go to the arcade tomorrow?”

“Of course!!”

Princey smiled at him, so he smiled back. But on the inside, he was shouting, ‘You. Idiot. You. Absolute. _IDIOT’_.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - - 

  
Princey hadn’t noticed, and it’s not like he could actually tell him. It would cause everyone to panic. So it seemed that he had no choice, he had to make a plan. 

So he started asking Princey to go out to places more. He always said yes. And while Virgil did have fun on their outings, the whole thing was dampered for him by the stalker that was always there.

Every time they went out he would go to the bathroom. And when he was finished he would snap a photo of Princey. He was always the main target of the photo, but in the background _She_ was always there, attempting to ‘hide’.

Eventually he had accumulated enough evidence to make a convincing case, around 15 photos in total. Now all that was left was to get that final, game changing piece.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - 

  
“Princey, I have a question for you.”

“Huh? What is it?”

“I have an art show this Saturday…. want to come?”

“Uh-Duh! Count me in! What time?”

Virgil smiled, “Around 7 pm.”

Princey beamed back, “Great!”

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - -

  
It was 6:50 pm and Virgil was waiting for Princey. They weren’t late, yet. But if he takes any longer then they would be. After another 5 minutes of pushing it Princey finally came down.

“Finally! Are you read-”

As Virgil turned toward Princey, he stopped.

“..... Why are you in costume?”

Princey was decked out in an old prince costume that Virgil had seen him wear during rehearsals (he came along sometimes for lunch). Complete with a bright-red sash. The whole outfit was over-the-top and clashed badly with Virgil’s thin hoodie and jeans. With the only ‘extra’ part of Virgil’s outfit being his extra-heavy makeup.

“Why, because I’m going to your art show of course!” Princey proclaimed, “I must dress my best! Besides, what’s with all the make-up?”

Virgil blushed the tiniest bit at that, “I-it’s to hide my identity! I use a pseudonym you know! Whatever.. let's just go..”

So they both climbed onto Princey’s motorcycle and headed to the show building.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - -

  
The building was built in a modern style, with almost all the walls being made of giant glass panes so thin they look like they could shatter if someone so much as threw a rock at them. Of course they wouldn’t _actually_ shatter. Virgil had been to this place many times for shows and he was 100% convinced of its safety.

“Wow,” Princey whispered, “this place is nothing like I imagined.”

“Hmm? And what did you imagine? An apartment complex?”

“N-no, no! It’s just that- uh, I wasn’t expecting so much ... glass….”

Virgil laughed, “Yeah I didn’t either my first time here. But don’t worry, it’s not gonna collapse.”

“R-right! Come on, let’s head inside…”

They headed inside with a group of other guests and started heading toward his area. He also took the time to point out some of the artists that he enjoyed to Princey as they passed. Some of his reactions were priceless.

~

“I don’t get it…”

“Don’t get what?”

“It’s just a bunch of solid-colored circles… even I can do that…”

“Keep telling yourself that Princey.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!??!!!”

~

“Does that statue…..”

*sigh* “Yes Princey, it has a dick.”

“B-but-”

“People have dicks Princey.”

“I-I know but-”

*another sigh* “Let’s just move on.”

~

“Here it is.”

They had finally made it to Virgil’s section and Princey was ecstatic. He immediately ran to the first painting he saw, which happened to be an open field.

“Don’t get too excited, my work is nothing special….”

Princey took a good look at the painting. At first it just looks like a well done painting of a field full of light yellow flowers, but as you get closer you can see small, seemingly random, splashes of other colors. Such as red, blue, even some lavender. But in the sky there was this light, swirling mass of color with a white center that didn’t interrupt the unity of the painting as a whole. It made the whole thing come alive as if it’s world was full of magic. 

Princey’s breath was taken away.

“Hmph, is it really that bad?”

Princey snapped his head to the side to see that Virgil had come up next to him. He was frowning as if there was something _wrong_ about the scene in front of him.

“Quite the contrary! It’s beautiful! Absolutely magnificent!”

“W-what?”

“I heard somewhere that left-handed people are good artists! You’re left-handed right??”

“Umm- yeah, but- d-do you really like it?”

“Like it? I love it! Come! I simply must see more of your brilliant work!”

They moved from painting to painting, Princey being more and more captivated with each piece he saw. Once Princey had gotten himself completely lost in a piece based off of Venice, Italy Virgil took a look around.

He almost-immediately spotted _Her_ in an area with no glass walls, no work on display, and no other people. He quietly thanked the fact that there were a lot of people between them because _She_ doesn’t seem to have noticed him looking. He turned back toward Princey.

“I gotta go to the bathroom, wait for me here kay?”

“Got it.” Princey half-heartedly mumbled, still absorbed in the painting.

He silently danced through the crowd and made his way to another area. Since he had come here many times he knew the layout of the place as if it were his own home. Making his way over, he arrived in the room opposite of the one he was in, but now he had a clear view of _Her_ from behind. 

Slipping his hands into his thin hoodie pocket, he made his way behind _Her_.

“Excuse me Mam.”

“Oh sorry! I didn’t see you there!” _She_ replied.

“No worries! If you don’t mind I would like to ask you something.”

“Huh, me? Why?”

Virgil put on a neutral smile, “No reason in particular. I just wished to ask your opinion on the actor _Roman Prince_.”

She smiled back, seemingly pleased about the subject, “Oh yes, he’s just sooooo wonderful isn’t he? He can play almost any role, and he certainly isn’t hard on the eye like his brother!”

Virgil raised an eyebrow, “Is that so?”

“Yes! His brother is nothing like him! Always dirty and annoying! Nothing like _my_ Roman!”

Virgil’s facade almost cracked right then and there, “Hmmm, may I question why you refer to him as ‘_your’_ Roman?”

_She_ had an almost sadistic grin on her face, “That’s because he’s _mine_~ We’re _sooo_ in love! I even have our honeymoon planned out for when we get _married_~!”

That was the last straw.

“Hmm, that’s very interesting. May I ask how you know about Roman’s brother? Cause knowledge of his existence has never been mentioned to the public.”

“W-well it’s because we’re in love of course! He tells me _everything_!”

“Even the fact that he is gay?”

“_W-W-W-W-WHAT???_”

“Roman is gay, I should know. I saw him at a PRIDE parade that we both attended, wearing the gay pride flag as a cape.”

“N-NO! You’re _LYING_!”

“I am not. Now listen here. I’ve seen you watching him. You’ve been following him places for weeks. I should know, I’ve been with him.”

A look of understanding passes over _Her_ face, but it is quickly filled with rage, “It’s YOU! The guy trying to _steal_ him from me!!!”

“He was never yours to begin with!! He was never even interested in women in the first place!”

“YOu’re WRonG! I aM tHe exCEpTion! HE LOVES _ME_ MORE THAN HE COULD _EVER_ LOVE A _MAN_.”

The people closest near them start to turn and look at them. They’re drawing a crowd. He spares a glance at where he left Princey. That, thankfully, oblivious idiot had moved further into his section, not noticing the noise at all. 

He levels his tone to be cold and serious, but loud enough so anyone near enough could hear. Trying to draw _Her_ attention away from anything but him, “I don’t think stalking an up-and-coming actor counts as love.” Some people near them gasp, but _She_ doesn’t notice.

She looks almost feral as She yells, **“YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING! HE _LOVES_ ME! YOU’RE JUST A _HOMEWRECKER_! I DON’T CARE IF 'WOMEN AREN’T HIS TYPE’ _I WILL_ BE THE ACCEPTION!! YOU’LL SEE!! _I’LL SHOW YOU_!!”**

And with that _She_ lunges at him with _Her_ fist sticking out. He manages to dodge but when he looks he sees that his arm had been slashed. He looks back at _Her_ to see that _She_ has a switchblade out.

He glances at the crowd and sees that some people in the back are starting to push forward, others have their phones out like assholes. Oh well, just means more evidence. At the very least he can’t be charged with taking the first strike.

“LOOK OUT!” An onlooker shouts at him.

He turns back to see _Her_ running back at him with the knife again. He manages to completely dodge the knife this time and impulsively grabs _Her _arm to stop _Her_. But as soon as he gets a hold of _Her_, _She_ pulls _Her_ arm away and takes grip of his wrist. Using his shock as an opening, _She_ plunged the knife through his hand.

He lets out a throat ripping scream as his nerves compete to see which of them were in the most _pain_. _She_ tries to use this as a chance to escape but is immediately thwarted by two people who ran out of the crowd and tackled _Her_ to the ground. 

“Shut it bitch.” One of them said.

Virgil looks up and smiles at them.

“T-thanks.”

“Anytime dude but _seriously_?!? That was so _reckless_! You got _stabbed_ in the _hand_!” Stratus yelled at him, “I really thought of you as the kind of person who would think things like this out more!”

“I-I did! I j-just didn’t think the lady w-would bring a _f-fucking knife_!”

“Uh, are you sure you’re ok? You’re still bleeding…” Micah mumbled, he reached into his gym bag and handed him a roll of gauze, “Here.”

Virgil accepted it with his free hand, “I’m not g-going to question why you brought your bag with you, b-but you have m-my gratitude.” He then started to wrap his left hand in the gauze, carefully trying to avoid the knife still sticking out of it.

Micah smiled at him then pulled out his phone and called the cops, explaining what happened. 

“OK SHOWS OVER! Go find security in case this woman decides to go crazy again!” Stratus called out.

Like clockwork the crowd started to scramble off, some deciding to go home, others going to find security like they were told. Once the crowd was thin enough a certain suit-clad man ran toward him and enveloped him in a bone-breaking hug.

“Pr-Princey I c-can’t b-breathe-”

“SORRY! SORRY!”

Princey immediately backed off.

“WhatWasThatWhatHappenedWhatDidYouDoWhatAreStratusAndMicahDoingHereOMGYOUREBLEEDINGOMGYOUNEEDHELPWHATIFITGETSINFECTED-”

“G-geze...” Virgil tuned out Princey’s rambling. He then used his good hand and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Turning the camera on his phone off he turned his attention back to Princey.

“THEYDONTEVENGETTHATMUCHSCREENTIMEIVELITERALLYBEENINALMOSTALLTHECHAPTERSHOWDIDINOTKNOWBUTTHEYDID-”

“C-calm down Princey, y-you’re not making any sense.”

“AL-All right, I’m sorry but-! You got WOUNDED! Because of that lady! What were you doing?!?”

Virgil sighed, he knew this time would come. “T-that l-lady over there was a s-stalker who had been following you for weeks.”

Princey stiffened, “S-she was f-following m-me?”

“Y-yeah…”

Princey stared at the floor for a bit, “C-can I give you a hug?”

“C-c-course…”

Princey gently put his arms around him like he was the most fragile thing in the world. Virgil didn’t know how to react until Princey started crying onto him.

“W-woah there Princey, letting out the waterworks I see.”

This only seemed to make him feel worse, “B-but it’s _my_ fault you got hurt! She was _my_ stalker and _I_ never noticed! You tried to help me but got _hurt_ from the process! What if the wound never heals? What if you can never draw again!” he sobbed.

“_NO_! It is _not_ your fault! Don’t you _dare_ take the blame for this!”

Princey went silent in his arms and Virgil huffed.

“It’s _no one’s_ fault. It was just an accident. And don’t worry, it won’t happen again.”

Princey looked up at him, “p..mis…..” he mumbled.

“What?”

“Do you promise?” Princey was looking at him with hopeful eyes and he felt something within him tighten, “Do you Promise not to do anymore ‘plans’ without the rest of us?!”

“But I had Stratus and Micah-”

“That isn’t the point! You _know_ what I’m talking about!”

“....I promise…”

Princey smiled at him and got off him, “Good.”

At that moment the cops arrived, Stratus quickly explained that the girl he and Micah were pinning down was guilty and _She_ was finally taken into custody. While Virgil was taken to the hospital.

“Princey you can’t get into the ambulance.”

“But-”

“You have a motorcycle parked outside, you can meet us there.”

“.....ok…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be slowing down the updates after this because I'm reaching the end of my chapter stock and am currently facing the dreaded writers block.


	12. famILY bonding pt.4 The end of the case

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aftermath of the last chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was legit thinking about posting this at 1 am until someone told me to go to sleep at 12:51 am soooo...……. yeah.
> 
> Anyways enjoy

Virgil had been taken to the closest hospital, Crofters Hospital. They determined that his hand would fully recover with a scar eventually, but for now he had to stay for the night. And for the next month and a half he wouldn’t be able to use his hand. 

At first he was worried about making up for classes. But the doctor said that they could just write him a note and his teachers would give him summaries of class, so he calmed down.

It was around 10 minutes after he had arrived when he realized that Princey wasn’t there. Weird…. he was so worried earlier, oh well. Not like he was expecting much.

Then, 1 hour after her first arrived, he heard a loud commotion coming from outside his room. He tensed and sat up in his bed. The next second the door burst open and 10 people came into the room (which thankfully didn’t have any other patients), all of them screaming something fierce.

He held up his hand and sighed, “Princey, I said you could meet me at the hospital. I was _NOT_ expecting you to bring my _entire social network_.”

Everyone looked a little sheepish at that comment. Even Logan, who he thought had the most composure out of all of them.

“Look I know you all mean well, but I’m tired. I’ll let half of you stay but can the rest please leave?”

They all glanced at each other. Then Stratus, Micah, Shelly, Remy, and Emile all left without a word.

“.... I’m sorry for not telling you…”

“Oh kiddo-” Pat walked forward and gave Virgil a hug, “don’t you ever, EVER! Apologize for what you did! You were a _hero_! That’s that!”

Virgil sniffled, not realizing when he started crying, “O-ok. Thanks Pat.”

Eventually everyone made themselves comfortable in the room. They had apparently planned to stay the night, he tried to protest but was shut down.

“No. We are here to make sure you don’t use your hand and for morale support.” (Pat snaps some finger guns in the background), “We already got the ‘go ahead’ from the front desk so there is no stopping us.” Logan explained.

After that they just started hanging out as usual. The room had a TV so Pat turned the channel to Cartoon Network, Remus and Dee were cuddling in a corner, and Princey and Logan were taking turns showing him stuff on their phones since Virgil couldn’t really use his.

At around 2 am he began to drift off when they heard a knock at the door. Startled Logan went and met with the person outside. After a minute he came back in followed by a well dressed man and a cop.

“Hello, you must be Virgil Stoe. I am Jammie Roudiga, I was assigned as a Detective in the case you were involved in. If I may, can I ask you a few questions?”

“O-of course, go ahead.” 

“Excellent. To begin Miss Nerak, the woman that was apprehended, was the supposed stalker of one ‘Roman Prince’, am I correct?”

“Correct.”

“What is your relationship with Mister Prince?”

“We’re roommates. In fact he happens to be right here.”

“Ah, I see.” The Detective scanned the room and his eyes landed on Princey. “Am I correct to assume that Mister Prince was unaware of both your plan and the supposed stalker until everything had already occurred?”

“Uh- yeah..” Princey stammered.

“Verywell. I will question you further later but for now I am going to focus on Mister Stoe, alright?”

“R-right!”

“Now, Mister Stoe. How did you first get suspicions of a stalker.”

“Well I was hanging out with Princey in a cafe. He had gone to the bathroom so I absentmindedly looked out the window. That’s when I saw _Her_ looking at the booth we were sharing, but as soon as _She_ noticed me She turned away. I remembered that I had seen _Her_ in other locations when I was with Princey as well.   
I got suspicious so I did some research about Princey. I found out that he had become quite popular as a rising actor, with a large fanbase of his own.  
That’s how I determined that he likely had a stalker.”

The Detective was writing all of this down, “Ok, one last question for tonight. Do you have any evidence to support your case?”

At that Virgil smiled. A genuine, sinister smile, “Of course I do.”

At that everyone stopped and stared at him.

“I have 13 photos of me and Princey out on random days hanging out with _Her_ mysteriously in the background,   
2 photos of me and Princey at PRIDE,   
and the building in which we had our little spat had security cameras in every room.   
But since those don’t have sound I also filmed the entire thing on my phone.  
None of said files are in any danger either, I had everything automatically backed up to 3 separate emails, as well as downloaded onto my phone, I also uploaded a few of the photos onto my private social media accounts, and had everything loaded onto the cloud for good measure.” 

Virgil then used his good hand to retrieve his phone and held it out to the Detective.

“Don’t worry too much about the clarity of the video, my hoodie is really thin. Plus the footage can also be viewed from the security cams for credibility.”

Everyone was shocked at what had just been revealed. Virgil had planned out everything. And ensured that no piece of vital evidence could be lost.

The Detective walked forward and took the phone out of his hand. “Thank you, you have been very, very helpful to us in this case. We will make sure to contact you through Mister Prince if needed, but I will tell you one thing; you have likely just won us the case.” With one more grateful smile the Detective left.

Virgil looked at the clock, 4 am, he groaned. “I’m going to bed, night!”

Slowly, everyone made themselves comfortable in the room and went to bed. And with that, the longest day of his life was finally at its end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And at long last I can finally put family bonding to rest.
> 
> In other news I'm stuck within the never-ending pit of writers block so if anyone has any requests then I'll be happy to take them!
> 
> (5/27/20) Edit: Forgot to mention this but I named the stalker Nerak cause its Karen backwards (sorry to any Karens out there but im just feeding into the memes-)


	13. What it meant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vi gets a 'congratulations' party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup, my year started off by making a demented brain child with my younger sibling and chugging tea like no yesteryear

It had been 2 weeks since the ‘confrontation’. Virgil had gotten a new phone as a thank-you from the Detective for providing vital evidence.Virgil, Princey, Stratus, and Micah had already been called into court to testify and they were now just waiting for a verdict.

Currently everyone, and he means _everyone_, was gathered at the Community House™ for an event. What event? Apparently word of the ‘confrontation’ had spread fast through the community, even making local news. And everyone wanted to ‘congratulate’ him for his ‘accomplishments’.

That is why they waited for everyone to testify, then started a ‘congratulations’ party. The room was packed with anyone and everyone who wanted to come. So much so that the place might be mistaken for some kind of club.

Virgil was sitting in a seat near the door, using his good hand to scroll through tumblr, when he got a ding on his phone. It was from the Detective. They had won. Virgil smiled, a smile that looked like someone had just taken the world off his shoulders and handed him all the goodness in the universe.

Princey instantly noticed this, having refused to stray too far from Virgil since the ‘confrontation’.

“Huh? What is it Verge?”

Princey walked over and looked at his phone, and smiled.

“YES!!”

He then turned to the rest of the crowd and told them the news, 

“WE DID IT! WE WON!!”

Everyone started screaming and cheering. Virgil was happy at the scene, but he still was a bit overwhelmed by it all. There were a lot of people, a lot more than he was used to, being louder than he had ever been.

He hunched in on himself more and tried to go back to scrolling through tumblr. Princey saw this however, and walked back over to him.

“Hey, do you want to step outside for a bit.”

“Oh thank god yes.”

They discretely left the building and sat on a bench outside. For a bit that’s all they did. Sit and enjoy each other’s warmth. Princey was the first one to try to break the ice,

“Sooo, do you know where Remus is? I assumed that he would be one of the most excited people…”

“Oh yeah, he had work or something…”

“Oh, that makes sen- wait, he has a JOB???”

“Huh?” Virgil startled, “You didn’t know?”

“No! He never told me!! What is it? Come on~ Tellll meeeeee!!!”

“Ok! Ok! I get it! He’s working as a part-time garbage collector.”

“....What? But that’s so predictable!! It’s Remus! There must be _some_ kind of strange happenings!”

Virgil looked down at the ground for a bit before looking back at Princey, “Don’t tell anyone I told you this but….. Dee told me that when Remus is out on the job he’ll always split the trash in half. Claiming one as ‘his share’ and properly disposing of the rest. He apparently brings them back to his dorm, but none of his co-workers know what he does with the stuff. And Dee refuses to tell me.”

“Wow….. that’s going to haunt me for a while…”

Virgil chuckled, “It is Remus afterall.”

Princey laughed along, “That it is.”

Once they were both done laughing they lapsed once again into comfortable silence.

“Umm, I don’t think I’ve told you this before… but thank you.”

Virgil was confused at the exclamation, “Huh? Oh- well, you don’t have to. I-I mean I wanted to help that’s all.”

“But what you did was amazing!” Princey insisted, “Please! Let me pay you back!”

“P-pay me back?”

“Y-yeah! Like- like dinner! Yeah! Dinner!”

“A-are you asking me on a date Princey?” Virgil teased.

“Umm- well- uhhh, I don’t know! Maybe….. only if you want it to be..?”

Virgil blushed and looked away, “Y-yes…. I would like that.”

Princey reddened at that and slowly locked his hand with Virgil’s, “T-then how about t-this Friday?”

“O-ok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahhahahahah idk what im doing lets hope 2020 doesn't explode
> 
> ask questions if needed
> 
> (5/22/20) Edit1: I jinxed it didn't I auuuuuggggggghhhhhhhh *yeets self into the abyss*  
Edit2: just realized that 13 is an unlucky number to *screams*


	14. The date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> look at the title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is time

Friday came along fast, too fast if you asked him. Virgil was pacing waiting for Princey to finish up with his outfit. Virgil had told Remus and Dee about his date, to which they insisted to:

‘Make him so beautiful that he would jump on him like a hungry hyena’

Or something like that.

At the moment, he was wearing a purple-black tank top with ripped black skinny-jeans. His purple bangs were newly dyed and his eyeshadow looked like it was exploding, in a good way. He was also wearing a black choker and black combat-boots. The whole outfit being completed by his well-loved patchwork hoodie.

At long last Princey came down, followed by Patton and Logan who helped him get ready. He was wearing a thin white t-shirt along with light-denim skinny-jeans, accompanied by a red leather jacket and white converse. The whole outfit was completed by his subtle makeup, which made his chocolate eyes look like they were dipped in honey.

“Huh-ha l-looking good there Princey…”

“R-right back at you My Dark Stormy Knight...”

They were both blushing beet-red and awkwardly standing near each other. Patton and Remus quickly glanced at each other and decided that this was bad.

“Ahh would you look at the time! You guys should get going now! Bye-bye kiddo!”

“Yep-yep! Go out and get half-naked in a dumpster like me and Dee! Or don’t! There are other ways of getting to the _JuiCY~sTuFf~_”

Patton and Remus pushed them out of the house, leaving them standing on the driveway.

“So…” Princey started, “I-I have a restaurant that I want to b-bring you to…. It’s o-one of my favorites….”

“Hmmm o-ok, let’s go.”

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

  
When they made it to the restaurant the lights were off and there was a sign on the door.

**We were forced to close early due to our manager getting sick,**   
**We are very sorry for the inconvenience.**

Princey looked distressed that their plans had fallen through. But Virgil decided to just roll with it.

“I’m so sorry Verge! I didn’t know they would be closed!”

“It’s fine Princey, come on, let’s get some food.”

Virgil then locked his hand with Princey’s and dragged him to the nearest convenience store. After they had gotten some food from there he took them to a park and they sat next to a lake, enjoying their impromptu picnic.

“Pffft-” Princey burst after a few minutes, “I feel like we’re children!”

Virgil looked at him, then looked at their matching pizza lunchables and laughed along, “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha yeah I guess we do. What’s gonna’ happen next? Is one of us about to propose with a ring pop?”

“Maybe~”

Virgil blushed, “Shut-up!”

They went on bickering for the rest of the night, making the best of the strange date. 

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - -

  
They got home late that night to find Logan and Patton asleep on the couch, cuddling with each other.

“Oh my god-”

“They must have stayed up waiting for us… Should we put them to bed or….”

“Blackmail.” Virgil replied, pulling out his phone.

“_This is why I love you._”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this was ok- enough. if you have an questions feel free to ask


	15. Extra: baking cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vi asks Pat to help him bake a cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhhhhhh yes, this mess. that yall've been waiting a week for. yes. this. exactly what you wanted. yep. mmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmm-
> 
> formatting this was really weird so please ignore the weirdness happening there

Everyone easily accepted Virgil and Roman’s new relationship, some having made bets on when. Not much changed either, the most notable change being the increased amount of PDA in the house. But nobody was too bothered by that, I mean, they already had Remus and Dee after all.

But there was another thing too, they started to ask for help on occasion with certain things.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - -

  
“Hey Pat?”

“Hmm? What is it kiddo?”

“Ah- well.. Me and Princey’s one month anniversary is tomorrow and… I was wondering if you could help me make a cake…?”

“Of course! Will chocolate be ok?”

“Uh-duh!”

“Great just give me a sec to get everything…”

After a bit of shuffling they had everything set up to begin.

“Ah wait.”

“What is it kiddo?”

“Can I put on some _[music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)_?”

“Huh? Well sure, I don’t see why not…”

“Perfect.”

Virgil pulled out his phone and opened YouTube, pulling up the video, he let the music play.

[It’s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI) [ a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI)   
[If](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI) [ th](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI)[e](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI) [ way is hazy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI)

“Uhh, Verge-”

[You gotta](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI) [ d](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI)[o](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI) [ the cooking by the book](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI)  
[You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI) [ k](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI)[now](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI) [ you can’t be lazy!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI)

“What?”

“I don’t think this is a good idea…”

[Never use a messy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI) [ recipe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI)

“It will infuse the cake with power…”

“Virgil no.”

“.....”

[The cake will](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI) [end](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI)[ up crazy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI)

“Virgil No-”

“Virgil YESSSSSSS-”

[ If you do the cooking by the book, then you’ll have a- ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI)

** [ Break it down- ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rVy1EZJOI) **

“ViRGiL wHyYyYyyYyyYyYY?????”

  
~~~~~~~~~~~

  
Needless to say, the cake was _delicious_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did any of you click the links? probably. do I regret anything? yes. lots of things. but not this chapter. this chapter was fun. :)


	16. Fight, Flight, and Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short story explaining the fight scene from chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a flash back explaining why Virgil and Remus fought when the had their 'reunion', it takes place 1 month after they originally met.

Virgil was on his way to the ice cream shop, Dee had texted him that he and Remus were going to be a bit late that day. 

He took a turn around an alley when some people walked by. Ignoring them, Virgil carefully tried to make his way around, looking down at his phone. 

However, he had the unfortunate luck of bumping shoulders with one of the people.

“Hey! Watch it you-”

“I’m sorry!” Virgil squeaked out, eyes set in staring at the sidewalk.

“Oh you better be-”

“Yo Buckles! What’s the hold up man? Margine’s waiting-” One of the other dudes from the front of the group called out at them.

“I know that! I just gotta deal with this fucker real quick!”

Looking up, Virgil met the eyes of the man standing in front of him. He was a towering brute of a man, and excessively large too. He also reeked of an indescribable smell that made Virgil _beg_ for the chance to belly flop into a pool of axe body spray instead of being in front of him.

Trying to avoid any contact with the brute (Buckles?) in front of him, Virgil looked away from him and glanced at his friend. Only to be met with the face of someone _much_ worse.

“Oh it’s _you_” Brexit sneered.

“Eh?? You know this guy?”

“Nevermind,” Brexit snapped, “You can beat him up, I’m giving you 10 minutes. Make it count.”

With that Brexit stepped away, and watched as Buckles beat the _absolute hell_ out of Virgil.

The first punch knocked the wind out of him. The second shook his spine. By the time 5 minutes had passed Virgil couldn’t even feel his brain, the only thought that he had was _i’mgonnadiei’mgonnadiei’mgonnadie**i’mgonnadiePLEASE-**_

Suddenly the weight lifted off of him, taking the chance, Virgil took in as much air as he could. After choking on a few breaths he finally looked up and saw what was happening.

Remus had Buckles pinned to the ground and was in the process of beating every last breathing shit out of him, while off to the side Dee had Brexit in a chokehold.

“G-get th-th-this l-lu-lunatic o-off of- ME!!” Brexit called out toward his friends.

And for a second they looked ready to go, until Dee and Remus sent a double glare their way. That made them scamper off like a gang of blind rats.

“H-hey w-wait stop!-” Virgil called out.

Remus and Dee whipped their heads toward him and paused what they were doing, still making sure to maintain their grips on the assailants. 

“What do you mean stop!??!?” Dee asked, “THESE guys were _BEATING_ you Vi! You shouldn’t be asking _US_ to stop!”

“J-just please- l-let them go.” Virgil pleaded.

Dee and Remus spared one last look at the guys they were holding before letting them drop to the ground.

“**Don’t come back**.” Remus commanded.

Buckles and Brexit rapidly nodded at him before scurrying off.

Once they were gone, Remus and Dee turned back to Vi.

“So, care to explain?”

Virgil sighed, “I knew Brexit from a while ago, we used to be friends before he found out about the whole……. orphan thing…. After that he just cut off all ties with me, and I thought it would just be left at that but-..... Just now I had bumped into one of his friends, that guy that was punching me. Buckles I think? Anyway- they got mad and Buckles started throwing punches and- and- I just…… I couldn’t fight back.”

There was silence for a while, Virgil watched their faces, searching for their reactions. But they were unreadable. After a hot minute Remus spoke up.

“WeLL tHen! YOU need to learn how to tHRow thOSe HANDS!” Remus exclaimed.

Virgil flinched, “What?”

“UGGggggghhhhhhh- What I’m _TRYING_ to say is that YOU need to learn how to FIGHT!”

The new phrasing helped him understand what he was saying but he was still confused, “Wait why?”

Both Remus and Dee gave him a look, “Why? WHy? WHY are YOU asking WHY????”

“It’s just- this was likely a one time thing- a stroke of bad luck- it might not never happen again-”

“Ah! Ah! AH!” Remus interrupted, “No is NOT an option!”

Virgil relented, he knew that no one could stop Remus when he was _this_ determined, “Fine. What’s the plan?”

“Everytime we meet, I want you to fight me!”

“What?”

“Exactly as I said!” Remus pronounced, “I need to test you to make sure you learn! The longer the time in between the harder the fight! Can’t let you get rusty~”

“HUh?? But-”

“No buts! Training starts~~~ NOW! Come on give me your hardest punch!”

And with that, training began. Slowly but surely Remus and Dee taught him how to defend himself. The lessons slowly became routine, and another part of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so I don't know how to say this but basically I'm going on hiatus. I don't know when I'll be back but this was the last chapter I had in my stock and I'm not sure how to move the story along after this. I'll be back once I've got another stock of chapters going but for now...….. thanks for reading.


	17. when the neighborhood gets together for something only to find out that they’re famous (‘ o ‘ )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The community decides to hold a neighborhood-wide garage sale, it doesn't go as expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm back! Hope that everyone is ok during this moment in time, I hope that this chapter can help put a smile on your face! Enjoy!

“Sup bitches I’m back!” Virgil called out, he had just returned from his bi-hourly coffee run to the Community House™.

“Ah welcome back kiddo!”

“Salutations.”

“Heya Virge!”

“About time bitch.”

“BAaaaaaaaabe come heeeeeeeeereeee!!!” Princey called out, he was seated on the floor next to the coffee table.

Logan was sitting in an armchair by the door, Dee and Remus had claimed the couch, and Patton was returning from the kitchen with a plate of cookies.

Virgil huffed and sat down next to Princey, “Anyway I also have some news from the board.”

Virgil reached into his pocket and pulled out a flyer that he had taken from the board at the Community House™ and passed it around. It was advertising an event for the whole community that was taking place that weekend: a neighborhood garage sale.

Patton’s eyes lit up, “Ooooh we have got to do this!”

“I agree, it would be quite helpful in getting rid of some clutter…”

“And I can share my fashion with the rest of this place…”

“And _I_ can sell some of _my_ stuff too!” Remus added.

Everyone exchanged some…. looks….

“_Normal_ stuff don’t worry!” Remus ‘reassured’.

“O~k well I’m down to do it if the rest of you are too.” Virgil continued.

Everyone agreed with the plan, not knowing what the weekend would bring.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - 

  
“A~nd that’s about it.” Virgil sighed, putting down the last box of old WIP(work in progress) paintings.

“I, too, am finished over here.” Logan replied, his area full of textbooks and random pieces of technology.

“So am I!” Princey called out, his area consisted of _many_ different outfits and scripts from some of his shows.

“Finished!” Patton yelled, he didn’t have much to sell so his area was filled with baked goods instead.

“And _I_ have brought the _goods_!” Remus interrupted, he was walking towards them holding a big box, Dee following close behind with a slightly smaller box.

Once he had made it in front of him he and Dee just, _dropped_ the boxes, _right there_ with a loud thud.

Virgil hesitantly made his way toward the boxes and opened the bigger one to find-  
.  
.  
.  
50 pounds worth of rubber ducks……

“What.” Virgil deadpanned.

“They’re ducks!” Remus chirped.

“I can see that. But….. _why_???”

“They weren’t glamorous enough to stay in my life.”

Virgil just sighed and opened the other box. This one opened to reveal…..!  
.  
.  
.  
10 pounds worth of, somewhat nice, metal forks.

This time Virgil just gave Remus A Look™.

“They aren’t soft enough!”

Virgil sighed, “Well it could have been worse I guess…”

“Oh you bet.” Dee agreed.

After that the group spent the next hour discussing who would man the garage when. And once they were done, the sale had begun.

  
\- - - - - - - - - -

  
Remus had volunteered to stay behind the entire time, simply stating that Dee can just text him about any interesting items. And that was fine and all but this was _Remus_ they were talking about, so there was usually one other person there with him. 

Most of the garages didn’t sell anything of interest anyway, the majority of items being old textbooks or random junk.

Though Stratus and Shelly had taken the chance to randomly approach people and preach to them the wonders of what 1-2 bags of straight (gay) smartie powder would do for you during all nighters. 

They didn’t end up selling many bags.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - 

  
Back at the garage it had been roughly 1 hours since the sales began and Logan had sold close to nothing. 

The thing was that all of their customers had been fellow students at Sanders University like them, and once all of Logan’s textbooks had been sold he didn’t have anything else of interest.

However, near the beginning of the 2nd hour something strange happened. A small family of 2 pulled up in front of them and started looking around. 

They had walked over to Remus’s area and the son had taken some sort of peculiar interest in the rubber ducks, and after looking at the bottom of 3, slammed down a wad of cash and started to furiously chat with Remus. The mother just sighed with her head in her hands, until she looked up, noticed Logan, and went up to him.

“Hello there mam, what can I do for you?”

The woman looked him up and down before answering him, “Are you perhaps a student at Sanders University?”

Logan looked at her and blinked, “Uhhh yes, everyone in this neighborhood is. Why do you ask?” 

“Oh that’s wonderful! When I heard that this neighborhood was having a garage sale I just couldn’t believe my ears! My son wants to go there you know- Oh I just have to tell everyone about this!”

The woman then went over to her son, pulling him away from Remus’ collection and drove away.

Logan watched the interaction for a bit before shrugging it off as a strange interaction and went back to manning the sale.

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - 

  
At the end of the 3rd hour mark Virgil and Princey took over the sales. And at first everything was going fine.

Until the 4th hour began.

All of a sudden a wave of customers came in, and _none_ of them were from the university. They were all just families or people who were interested in going to the university.

This shocked the students attending the sale. Because aside from the students who deal with show business in their day to day lives, the others thought that they couldn’t possibly attract any _fans_.

Well they had thought wrong.

Apparently the very fact that they even managed to get into the university was enough to get them a decent amount of attention. And when the _entire_ community was holding an event like this? People were practically _flocking_ to the neighborhood wanting to get their hands on _any_ of the students' works.

(There was however the curious fact that Remus had managed to sell all his ducks, even though everyone knew he wasn’t a student. All the customers were shouting something about some kind of ‘great one’ as well, _odd_.)

At first people could handle it, some business majors even seizing the opportunity to make money by selling copies of random notes.

But 2 hours after they arrived the streets were more crowded than New York traffic, and the garage sale weekend had to end right then and there.

On the bright side, the ducks had made _a lot_ of money. Giving them enough to go enjoy a nice meal at the Cheesecake Factory. So that’s a plus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to chat in the comments!


	18. when the neighborhood gets together for something only to find out that they’re famous (‘ o ‘ ) [Super Exclusive Remus POV!!!]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what it says.

Remus was just hoping to sell some ducks.

That was all.

He just wanted to sit around and convince some students to buy what he didn’t need.

Dee had been out looking at sales for him, texting him anything that may be of interest, and whenever something caught his eye as well he would just paypal some money over to him and tell him to buy it.

_(He also got a kick out from Dee’s report on Stratus and Shelly’s Smartie Powder Advertisements™. **They seem like worthy allies for upcoming battle-**)_

But everything was just so booooooring sometimes! Nothing was _happening_!!!

That was until a mother and son pulled up out of nowhere.

The son had wandered his way over to the stand, his mother following behind him. He looked at his items with a skeptical look, and was about to turn away when he noticed something.

He quickly picked up a duck and looked under it to find-

-claw marks.

His eyes widened as he then proceeded to pick up 2 more ducks and looked underneath them, finding even more claw marks under each one.

The boy immediately slammed down some of that sweet sweet moola as his mother held her head in her hands, _somehow_ disappointed in her son’s _amazing_ spending choices, and instead walking over to talk to Logan.

Leaving just Remus and the son.

“Ahhh, I see that you are a man of culture.”

“Why of course!” The son energetically replied, “But I do wonder how you managed to get your hands on such exclusive items?”

“Well, you could say that I happen to know the source…”

“*le gasp* Surely you jest! You mustn't mean to say that you’re-”

“Yes, it is I, the one so great that I needn’t even say what I am!”

The son immediately bowed down to Remus’ greatness, dabbing as he do, “I do not deserve to be in your presence o’ great one!”

“Rise!” Remus commanded, “You have proven yourself to be a worthy warrior! I shall remember to call upon you should the time for battle come!”

At that moment his mom came back around and was dragging him back to the car. But that didn’t stop him from tossing a paper airplane at him containing his phone number.

“I shall be at your becandcall!”

“Your dedication is admired! Make sure to spread news of these sales! But do not tell any of my true status!” Remus called back.

And with that they were gone…

  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

  
Later that day, more and more of his followers would come to see him during the ‘great rush’. Many vying to bid for just a single duck.

One offered $100.

Another offered 1 gallon of honey.

_It was a **fierce** competition._

But the son (who Remus later found out was named Terri) had managed to keep his true identity a secret to the rest of his followers, and for that he had earned Remus’s respect.

.  
.  
.

_And to think the Remus just wanted to sell the ducks for 69 cents a piece-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betcha weren't expecting that! B) *finger guns into the endless oblivion*


	19. Terri comes to town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember the guy from the Remus edition of the garage sale? Of course you do! Well anyway this is his chapter~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I look back on this and vaguely, in the back of my head, I think: 'oh yeah, this is the beginning of the end' but then I remember that that was last chapter~

There was a new face at the school.

Many found this a bit strange (seeing that it was around beginning-midway through the year), but it was not entirely uncommon.

What _was_ uncommon however was the boy himself.

His name was Terri, and he broke _all_ the rules. Literally.

The man had a piece of paper with all the rules on it. And, one by one, he went down the list. Breaking them all.

And the worst part? He was never caught.

No one knows how. But everytime he did something the teachers never saw. They were always _just_ too slow, always had some u_n_e_x_p_e_c_t_e_d_ surprise meeting, were always _just_ out of hearing range.

And while most of the things he did were relatively harmless pranks, the sheer op-ness of never getting caught enraged the literary and theatre students. Making them determined to nurf him.

  
\- - - - - - - -

  
“Ok everybody!” Roman called out to the room, “We have to make a plan.”

All the literary students had joined the theatre kids in their war room. It was common knowledge that the theatre kids went to war often at the school, that is why the Community House™ had a room set aside for them to make battle plans. And while the literary students were usually quite mellow, they were all down to battle if it meant taking Terri down.

A kid in the back raised their hand.

“Yes you!” Roman called on them.

“Maybe we could ask nicely?” Marilyn, one of the literary students, suggested.

Roman gave Marilyn a blank stare. 

“...Fine, nevermind!”

Roman sighed and pulled out a whiteboard, “Let’s just write down as many ideas as possible and try them out. Ok?”

After getting many sounds of agreement, the list was made.

  
\- - - - - - -

  
#1 Get him caught

Terri, once again, was doing the scandalous act of running in the halls.

But this time, the students were ready. 

They had cameras stuck to the walls along the hallway, and a group of students waiting with a teacher in one of the corridors.

The plan was foolproof.

…...Except it wasn’t.

Just as Terri was about to pass by the teacher, she noticed a coin on the floor and bent down to pick it up, not seeing Terri pas until he was long gone. And later, when the students tried to show her the camera footage, it was revealed that all the cameras had died just before Terri passed.

Terri:1, Students:0

  
\- - - - - - - -

  
They tried again and again after that. But nothing ever worked.

  
\- - - - - - - -

#12 Take him to a remote location and leave him there.

Fail: After a couple of students managed to convince him to go to some concert up in Georgia with them, they left to go on a ‘group bathroom trip’ where they promptly ditched him. They thought they had left them behind, but were spotted near the snack bar and ultimately took him back.

Terri:12, Students:0

  
\- - - - - - - 

  
#49 Prank him

Failed epically: After some students pranked him, he pranked them back. So they had to prank him back. Causing him to prank them again. And it spiraled into a prank war that ended with Remy getting mad and making the students clean the Community House™ for a week.

Terri:49, Students:0

  
\- - - - - - - -

  
In the end, it was Merilyn that called a meeting.

The literary and theatre students sat awkwardly, looking at each other. They didn’t know why Merilyn had called the meeting, but for some reason they were all at the front of the shop instead of the war room. And it had been 5 minutes since all the students had arrived, but they didn’t start the meeting. 

Every time someone asked why they were still waiting Marilyn responded, “We’re still waiting on someone.”

10 minutes later, someone walked through the door……… it was Terri.

The students shared panicked glances, _why was he here?_

They got even more confused when Marilyn stood and walked up to him.

“I’m glad you could make it.” Marilyn told him.

“Thanks, what was it you wanted to talk about?” He asked, peeking behind them at the crowd that had gathered.

“Yes about that,” They began, looking meaningfully at the other students, “could you _please_ stop breaking all the rules? It makes us upset.”

There was a brief silence as everyone questioned their words. The students shared incredulous looks, _really_?

They were more than a little shocked at Terri’s response, “Oh. Really? Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to cause any discomfort.” He looked…. sheepish?

Marilyn sighed, “That’s ok, just make sure to stop.”

“Got it.” Terri easily agreed, “As an apology, how bout’ I buy y'all some coffee?”

And, just like that, it was over. They didn’t know why it worked (some thought it was because Terri liked Marilyn, seeing as they got together the week after), but it did.

  
~ ~ _Outtake_ ~ ~

  
“Hey Logan!” Patton called out. He was seated on the couch, with Logan sitting in an armchair off to the side. “I found something interesting!”

“Oh, what is it?”

“Here look!” Patton got up and showed him his phone. “I found this really cool blog! Apparently this guy became friends with this bear he named Bradly because they met at the same river. And he just found out about Bradly’s bear husband Chadly! Isn’t that cool?”

“I will admit that it is very interesting. Though, it is a bit off putting that some of his fans are calling him… ‘the great one?’”

“Oh yeah, that’s cause some people theorize that he can like, speak to animals like a Disney princess. But that’s not very important! Just look at how cute some of these photos are!”

And with the subject of the theory dropped, Logan and Patton spent that afternoon scrolling through tumblr. Like people do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to chat with me in the comments, y'all know that we could use the social interaction


	20. A ball’o’Logan visits the fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go to the fair, but there's just one problem: its cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)

“Everyone ready?” Patton, ever the dad, called out.

His response came in the form of several agreeing hums.

“Great! Hop in kiddos!”

The boys were heading to town, more specifically, the town fair.

Patton had heard about it from some of his classmates the week before. And he, always up for some famILY bonding, asked the others if they wanted to go. They obviously said yes, though Dee did warn them that he and Remus might be late due to some sort of ‘meeting’ they had that day. Strange.

But that didn’t matter at the moment, the current crisis was much different.

The current crisis was trying to get Logan in the car.

You see, it was mid-way through winter, and Logan _hated_ the cold. Normally, this fact would be pushed aside seeing as Florida had the warmest winter temperatures in the states.

But _this _year Florida decided to pull out all the stops and _fucking snow_. Most considered it a winter miracle. Logan considered it a winter nightmare.

The cold temperatures caused him to bundle up in as much clothing as humanly possible. Turning what once was a respectable young man into a ball of clothes with legs and half a face.

That was where the problem began. Since Logan absolutely _refused_ to remove _any_ of his layers, they were faced with the task of forcefully cramming him into the car. _By any means possible._

They tried to push him through the door. He bounced back out.

They tried to spin him round like a screw. That just got him stuck.

They tried putting him in the trunk. But he was so big that the door wouldn’t shut.

At one point Roman gave up and tried to yeet him into the car. He was stopped by Patton’s pleading puppy eyes.

Finally Virgil got an idea.

In the end, the boys ended up going next door and borrowing Shelly’s U-Haul to drag Logan behind the car.

And at last they were at the fair.

  
\- - - - - - - - 

  
They had a lot of fun, tough Logan’s snowball-ness created a fun challenge.

  
\- - - - - - - - 

  
They found one of those games where you hit a target as hard as you could to win a prize. Logan won by just putting the full weight of his clothing on the target.

  
\- - - - - - - -

  
They got to use the bumper cars. Logan won once again using the force-field that was himself.

  
\- - - - - - - -

  
At one point, a child came up asking to give Logan a hug, having mistaken him as a mascot. This caused a wave of children wanting an autograph from the Snow-Man.

  
\- - - - - - - - 

  
Roman had found a small park at one point. He then insisted on pushing Logan down the slide. This ended with Logan rolling so far off the slide that he crashed into a lamp across the street. Thankfully, he was uninjured once again thanks to the remarkable padding abilities of his clothes.

  
\- - - - - - - - 

  
Eventually they tried to go on a rollercoaster together, however Logan was too big to board, meaning that he had to sit out. Not wanting him to be lonely, Patton sat out as well.

The two were on a bench sharing a bucket of cookies when Logan spoke up.

“I’m sorry for any sort of inconvenience that I have caused tonight.”

“What are you talking about?”

Logan turned to look him in the eyes, “My clothing choices have limited what we have done. You are even sitting out right now due to the fact that I was too big to go on a ride.”

Patton gave him a look, “Don’t talk like that silly! There’s just more of you to love! Besides,” Patton’s gaze softened, “I’m just happy to spend time with you.”

Logan was silent for a bit before he spoke again, “Then… perhaps we could spend the rest of the night together as well… j-just the two of us.”

Patton flushed, “L-like a date?”

“If you want it to be?”

Patton beamed, “Yes!”

  
\- - - - - - - -

  
Roman received a text the moment he got off the ride with Virgil.

_**Patton**: You two have fun! Me and Logan will meet you kiddos at the car later!_

He smiled and rolled his eyes, _finally_.

  
_~ ~ Outtake ~ ~_

  
Roman and Virgil had stumbled upon Remus and Dee while exploring the fair.

Dee (bundled up similarly to Logan), was watching as his boyfriend ran around winning game after game. While screaming something about... ‘being an uncle’?

“Don’t worry about him,” Dee 'reassured’ them, “he’s just excited.”

Roman and Virgil just smiled and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throwback to a comment thread with @creamiiteaa_xx, mission successful B)
> 
> thread: https://archiveofourown.org/comments/303419950


	21. Remus’s got some explainin’ to do!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some answers for those seeking comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, I know the summary explains nothing but its basically a rule of law to be unyieldingly cryptid when anything centered around remus happens soooooooo

The boys had gone out for lunch that day. Having no classes throughout the board, it was the perfect time! But when they made it to the restaurant, Roman realized that he had left his wallet at home! _‘Well no biggie!’_ they said, _‘We can just go back and get it!’_

And so they did just that…  
.  
.  
.  
Except they didn’t. Kinda. Really.

You see, Roman had claimed the entirety of the garage for his motorcycle (which they had left at home, since they were taking Patton’s car). They didn’t have anything else in there except for the motorcycle and some gym equipment.

Roman, had told them to just stay in the car while he grabbed his wallet from the garage._ No biggie._

Except it was biggie. Roughly _2 ¼ biggies_ to be more accurate.

Virgil, Patton, and Logan were startled by the sound of high pitched screaming. Roman’s high pitched screaming.

They ran up to the garage door to find something infinitely surprising for any homeowner:

Bears.

There on the floor, sat two full-grown grizzly bears, curled around Roman’s motorcycle. And there, perched atop the motorcycle as if it was a royal throne, was a bear cub.

The bears, having been previously asleep, were unhappily awakened by the noise. And was cautiously eyeing the boys.

They were at a stalemate.

  
Until Remus decided that was the moment he wanted to enter the scene.

He entered via the door from the kitchen, holding a small basket of apples and 3 rubber ducks.

“Oh heya brother! Didn’t thunk ya be back so soon!”

“Remus!! What are you doing?!?!?!?? Can you not see the bears!?!?!?!?!!!” Roman not-so-whisper-yelled.

“Oh these guys? Don’t worry. They chill.”

“Those are bears!!” Roman cried, “Bears that might attack us and are definitely _not chill!!_”

“Wait a moment.” Patton interrupted, “Those bears look familiar…” He started slowly walking towards the bears.

“Have you gone insane?!?!????”

Ignoring Roman’s agonized cry, Patton kept on walking forward until he was almost face-to-face with the bear on the left. That was when it hit him.

“_Bradly?_”

As if a magic word had been spoken, the bear held up a paw and…. _Waved?_

“Oh hey you know him!” Remus cheered, “That’s great! Saves me some splainin’.”

“No no,” Logan cut in, having finally broken from his stupidor about the fact that there were _bears_ in his _garage_, “you still have to explain. Right. Now.”

“Ugghhhh fiiiiiiiine” Remus whined, “it all started several months ago…”

  
~ ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ ~ ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ ~ ʕ •ₒ• ʔ ~

  
It was early fall in the Dumpster Fire™ household and Remus had, once again, woken up at the ass-crack of dawn with a precision only achievable by the internal-clock-of-a-madman (such as he).

And being such a lad, he also exclusively bathed in water as cold as one of those old-timey-ice-bucket-challenges that all the _old people_ did/remember. But the water system in his and Dee’s new apartment didn’t hold up to such a standard.

Thankfully, Remus had spotted a river by the edge of the woods. So he happily gathered up a towel, a bar of soap, and some rubber ducks then traveled on his merry way.

The river turned out to be just as cold as he had expected, and then some! He spent a good 20 minutes or so pleasantly bathing in the maybe-hypothermia-inducing-water. Then, a bear came out of the woods!

Remus wasn’t that shocked, like come on, there were bubbles!

The bear slowly approached him. Once the bear was basically on top of him Remus held out a rubber duck. Curious about the new development, the bear took the duck. The bear (which Remus then identified as a boy) started playing with it, and immediately loved the duck.

But at one point, the bear gripped the duck too hard, and left some claw marks at the bottom. Slightly deflating it. This made him sad.

Remus, however, didn’t fall into whoe like the bear. Instead, he merely handed him another duck.

And thus, their bro bond was formed.

Everyday since, Remus returned to the river to bathe. He met up with Bradly (the bear) there and they hung out. At one point Remus even brought Dee along, and introduced him to Bradly, who instantly liked him.

The next development in their relationship came around 2 weeks after that.

Remus was, once again, at the river. But Bradly was running a bit late. 5 minutes after Bradly usually arrived the bear finally emerged. Remus had already finished by then and was simply waiting for him to appear, Dee had joined him that day too (he mentioned something about a feeling that something good would happen). 

That day, instead of just hanging out there like they normally did, Bradly beckoned them to him. So they did. Bradly took them to a cave entrance a little ways into the woods, it was his home. Bradly did some sort of vague motion to wait at the entrance and then went in. 10 minutes later, Bradly remerged with (_le gasp_) another bear! 

This bear turned out to be Chadly, Bradly’s bear-boyfriend! Chadly was wary of Remus and Dee at first, but with some encouragement from Bradly (and some very entertaining ducks), quickly warmed up to the duo as well.

And thus the Man-Bear Bro-Alliance grew by one member that day.

  
~ ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ ~ ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ ~ ʕ •ₒ• ʔ ~

  
“And then I made a Tumblr blog to flex my sick bros at all dem’ plebs!” Remus concluded, having ‘finished’ his story.

Logan cleared his throat, “While that is- uh great and all, it doesn’t explain the bear cub on Roman’s motorcycle.” 

“Oh yes!” Remus exclaimed. He went over and picked the baby bear up, cradling the tiny thing he began again, “Well the story of how I met this little fella!” Remus paused to do the lion king pose, “Goes like this-”

  
~ ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ ~ ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ ~ ʕ •ₒ• ʔ ~

  
Remus and Dee had just made it to the river when Bradly and Chadly came bounding up to them. This was incredibly odd, not only was Chadly a total introvert who never left the comforts of his home, but they were ahead of schedule! The bears frantically motioned at them to follow, so they did.

They were led back to the cave, where Bradly and Chadly had motioned at them to go in. Remus and Dee went in immediately (sensing that this was an important moment if they were allowed into the cave). There they found the Best. _Thing. **Ever**._

There, in a small bed of leaves, was a bear cub. Remus and Dee were in awe of the cute little bear and (after looking behind them for permission) went to play with the tiny thing. That was how Remus and Dee became honorary-Uncles to the adopted bear cub (named Padly).

  
~ ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ ~ ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ ~ ʕ •ₒ• ʔ ~

  
“Awww thats so cute!” Patton cooed, having moved off to the side to play with Padly.

“I know!” Remus readily agreed.

“But wait,” Virgil decided to speak up (having already known about Remus’s bear bros), “why are they in our garage?”

“Oooooh thaaat! Well it was gettin’ pretty chilly so I decided to move them somewhere warmer!”

“Ok, but we kinda need to use it!” Roman replied.

“Oof. Didn’t think of that.”

“*sigh* It’s ok brother. Let’s just think of somewhere we can move them.”

“What about the Community House™?” Logan recommended, “If they are as friendly as they seem then they would probably be allowed to stay.”

They all looked at each other and shrugged, “Worth a shot.”

  
\- - - - - - - 

  
Emile immediately fell in love with the gentle bears and Remy (having seen and kept up with the Tumblr) approved as well.

And thus, the bears were given a room in the back and earned themselves a craving for Emile’s blueberry muffins.

All in all, it was a good day for them.

Oh yeah and the boys got their lunch as well.

  
_~ ~ ~ Outtake ~ ~ ~_

  
Logan turned to Remus after the whole ordeal was over, one question burning in his mind, “Did you know that your fans have some strange theory that you can talk to animals like a Disney princess?”

“Of course! A good ruler always knows the goings on in their kingdom~”

“Yes well, I just wanted to know if it was true.”

Remus, honest to god, _cackled_, “HAHAHHhhahahhahahaa- Nope! Maaan don’t know how you got that idea!”

Logan let out a sigh of relief, _he didn’t want to think about what Remus could do if given such power-_

“That’s _Dee’s_ job silly!”

_Of course, it was Dee’s-_

_Wait **What-**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, writing this chapter: haha, bears explain **e v e r y t h i n g**


	22. Peace was never an option

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A simple debate becomes so much more to the students of 2 different schools, oh how ever could it end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I have no idea where that summary came from but ok.   
Anyway I've been waiting to post this its great trust me. Also: this chapter takes the time to explain a bit about Remus and Dee's school so I hope y'all enjoy that! ;)

Roman didn’t know if he was glad or upset that Remus didn’t go to his school at this point.  
…...But then again his presence might not even be that much of use at the moment.

  
\- - - - - - - - 

  
Darrek Slemms University, located only 3 blocks away from Sanders University, was an overlooked school. While it didn’t have the same fame or recognition of Sanders University, it wasn’t a bad school by any means. But the students took pride in going to the school, jokingly calling themselves the “Dark Side'' of Sanders University. This was, in part, due to some of Darrek Slemms University’s…. different rules.

Darrek Slemms University encouraged talent in unlikely places, similar to Sanders University. Except, unlike so, they didn’t apply this to the students. No, they applied it to their work. The school let students do almost anything if they could prove that it would help them in some way.

They let the psychology students plan parades around campus in a ‘study on how to increase morale’.

They let a live petting zoo onto campus so that the veterinary students could ‘quiz each other by battle of who can explain things about the animals to strangers the best’.

They let the art and wildlife research students buy-out half a junkyard to ‘create abstract art that would be sold at auction to promote recycling’.

They even let the business students start several different fake online companies in which the stock was ‘perpetually sold out’ so that they could ‘study why certain items sold better than others’.

The strange ongoings of Darrek Slemms University remained almost entirely unknown to the outside world. And because of this, the majority of students from Sanders University had a slight fear of Darrek Slemms students.

  
\- - - - - - - - -

  
But let’s get back to the problem at hand.

It all started with a video posted at 2 am one faithful Tuesday morning.

  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
_“Sup bitches, welcome back to Strange Conspiracies and Debates._

_In case you are new to the channel, here’s a rundown of what I do._

_I make short videos on far-fetched conspiracy theories or purpose strange debate topics for you shits to argue about._

_Last video we ‘talked’ about the theory that dogs were alien spies that would eventually destroy the Earth, link is in the i-card if you missed it._

_But today we are ‘talking’ about something entirely different._

_Roman Prince._

_He has become known in the media as ‘that one actor who played Heather Chandler in that bomb-ass genderbent rendition of the Heathers Musical’._

_He is only in his first year at Sanders University, but has already become known as their ‘poster-child’ of sorts._

_Now, there are many questions surrounding Roman as his personal life is kept a close secret._

_But right now, I will ask you all the one question that matters…_  
_._  
_._  
_._  
_-Is Roman Prince a twink or a hunk?”_

  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
The video quickly became a popular topic at _both_ universities, and with no one close to Roman speaking up, it quickly became a battleground.

The students at Sanders were quick to ‘defend Roman’s honor’, stating that he was _obviously_ a total hunk.

Students from Darrek Slemms however cultivated a certain thirst for chaos, and immediately insisted that he was a twink.

The argument escalated quickly, rising to the point where both sides had agreed to meet face-to-face with (fake) weapons that afternoon only 6 hours after the video was posted.

And by the time Roman had actually seen the video, it was only an hour before the battle was set to begin.

  
\- - - - - - - - - -

  
The park was (sadly) a long way from the house, and in his panic, Roman had forgotten about his motorcycle and straight (gay) up ran to the park. The battle was just about to begin when Roman finally arrived, and both sides were staring each other in the face.

On the left was a large army made up of mostly theatre kids from Sanders University. They were all decked out with fake swords and shields from the prop closet, and held a look of absolute cold-hard determination.

To the right was a sizable army of Darrek Slemms students. Unlike the Sanders students however, the students from Darrek Slemms were from a variety of majors. The only things they had in common at that moment were their absolute desire to kick names, take ass, and be the living embodiment of chaotic vibes that they were ‘meant’ to be. Their weapons similarly reflected this. The art majors had lent the ‘army’ a variety of paintball guns, paint grenades, miniature paint cannons, glitter bombs, silly string, and confetti that the school had bought years ago for ‘experimentation purposes’.

And then the battle began.

The students from Darrek Slemms immediately ran forward and unleashed their all, the students from Sanders mostly countered this by using their shields. (If a student did get hit then they would drop to the floor and carry out a long-winded improvised death scene for dramatic effect). Once students got close enough they tried to disarm the enemy using their swords with varied effectiveness.

The scene quickly dissolved into madness before Roman could get his wits about him. And just as he was about to consider what to do a sound pierced through the madness and temporarily stunned the entire field.

Everyone looked towards the entrance of the field to find the source of the sound.

And it truly was a sight to behold.

There, sitting atop Bradly and Chadly, holding Padly in the Circle-of-Life pose, was Remus. In front of him stood Terri, Stratus, and Shelly, wearing matching men in black costumes, each holding 2 air horns. Dee stood off to the side holding a large picnic basket.

Remus made sure to take a slow, grand, sweeping view of the battle field. Before setting Padly down on his lap and pulling out a megaphone.

“People of Earth I come bear-ing the truth! For you see! My brother is neither twink nor hunk! He is a twunk!”

Dee then opened his basket to reveal piles and piles of cookies with sayings written on them, spanning anywhere from “_Make Cookies not War_” to “_#RomanIsATwunk2kForever_”.

People immediately dropped everything to line up as Dee handed out the cookies, effectively forgetting about the battle that was happening not 2 minutes prior.

Remus slid up next to Roman, “Well isn’t this nice brother!”

Roman, having learned from stranger experiences, just sighed and nodded.

  
_~ ~ ~ ~ Bonus ~ ~ ~ ~_

  
_“-Is Roman Prince a twink or a hunk?"_

Virgil smirked as he turned off the camera.

The others knew that he always stayed up late but never questioned it.

What they _didn’t_ know was that Virgil spent that time making short YouTube videos for his semi-small but sizable fanbase.

He thought this topic would be enough to cause some semi-controlled chaos and was bound to be fun to watch.

Besides, it wasn’t even much of a debate anyway.

_Everyone_ knew Princy was a _twunk_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to @Xx_Chocogirl32_xX for that one comment thread, you may or may not be the reason this shit-show exists B)
> 
> thread: https://archiveofourown.org/comments/272199208
> 
> Also just wanted to say: Roman being a twunk is the 'one-true-headcannon'.


	23. Micah’s quest for instagram

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stratus uses social media a lot, Micah doesn't understand why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi so this chapter is oc-centric so if you don't like that kind of stuff then this chapter is totally skippable, but anyway if you do read it then I hope you enjoy ^u^

Micah doesn’t understand his brother sometimes.

It’s just- Micah doesn’t understand why he takes selfies.

He knows that that is a pretty odd thing for someone in his generation to not understand. But he just doesn’t???

Throughout his life, Micah has hated the limelight. Some examples of this are pretty straight(gay) forward; he didn’t like being called on to answer questions, never liked group projects, wanted to put the person who invented public speaking in a chokehold, the usual.

But there are other examples that are.... less common…

You see, Micah also made it a personal mission to have no visuals of his existence out in the media.

His mother wanted to take a photo for the memories? Ok but only if she doesn’t share it with anyone other than family. His brother took a vlog that briefly had him respond to a question from off-screen? That's fine as long as his voice is distorted in post. Stratus takes a selfie that accidentally caught his shoulder in the shot? Fine, he may or may not have had a tiny-tiny existential crisis before asking his brother to go back and crop him out. And last week when he was walking down a busy street and saw some tourists about to take a photo? ….So maaaybe he barrel rolled out of the shot into so nearby bushes. But no one _really_ got hurt so everything’s _fine_!

So whenever he sees his brother anything social media related he gets confused. That’s fine. But he honestly wants to know why his brother likes it so much. So he asked.

  
\- - - - - -

  
“The fame.”

“What?” Even if it was such a simple answer, it still confused him.

Stratus sighed at his 50-year-old-spirited brother, “If you want to understand so much then just make your own account.”

Micah frowned, “Bro, you know how much I hate having my picture taken.” 

“Then make it about something else!” Stratus threw his hands in the air, “Just make it about something you like! Now I’m sorry to cut the conversation short but I have a lecture to attend in like 10 minutes so I gotta go! Byyeeee~” 

And with that Stratus left, leaving Micah behind to ponder.

  
\- - - - - -

  
“I still don’t know what to make it about...”

Micah had been thinking about it for a week now, and he still didn’t have a solid idea.

Cooking? No, he’s mediocre at best.

Fishing? He’s never been so that would make no sense.

He even thought about making it about flowers, his mother is a florist after all. But then he realised that it really is his mother's thing and that he doesn’t really know anything about them.

So now he was just taking a walk with Patton to try and get his mind off things.

“Aww, that’s ok kiddo-” Patton leaned down to pat a dog passing by, “-you don’t have to rush into anything.”

“*sigh* I know,” Micah scratched a little puppy’s ear, “but I feel like I won’t ever find out at this pace.”

“What about sports?” Patton suggested while getting kisses from yet another random dog, “You have a scholarship lined up for athletics right?”

“I know,” Micah sighed, giving a doggo some well deserved belly rubs, “but I don’t have any good advice to give. The best I have is just; _‘Be confident and train a lot!’_, and everyone’s already heard that a million times before.”

They turned into a dog park, and almost immediately all the dogs made their way over to them.

Micah flopped down and let the dogs take him, “_Uuhhhhhhhgggggg_ what am I gonna _dooooooo_?”

Patton hummed and sat down next to his lifeless body, “Hmmm, you know there’s been an awful lot of dogs this whole trip.”

“Yeah,” Micah sighed, giving pats to the army of dogs demanding attention, “dogs are just attracted to me or something. Can’t walk a block without running into at least 2.”

Patton gasped, “That’s it! Your account can be about all the dogs you meet!”

Micah’s eyes widened, “You’re right! Thanks Pat!”

He smiled, “Anytime kiddo!”

  
\- - - - - -

  
And thus, Micah created an instagram that posted pictures and locations of all the doggos he meets.

Needless to say, just about everyone in the area followed him immediately.

And Micah finally, _finally_, figured out what was so gratifying about social media.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, Micah is the epitome of a 'old-man-in-a-young-person's-body' in my mind. He knows how to meme and stuff, however deep down he acts like a grandpa.


	24. One-Sentence Horror Story That Requires Absolutely No Explanation

Remus held a party, it got**_ ẘ̶̭̭͓͗́ ̴̩͎̟͆ĭ̵͈̞̲̿͝ ̴̢̪̭́͝͝l̸̨͓̯͑͌ ̶̼͂d̶̺͋._**


	25. The Party Don’t Stop til’ McDonalds Threatens to Sue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh yes, some explanations

Everyone should have known better than to let _Remus_ host a party.

But they just _had_ to wonder how he would host it, they had to be _too_ curious.

And in the end they let him.

_They **fucking** let him._

  
\- - - - - - - - -

  
At the start, it was all fun and games.

Lots of people had shown up, and by default there were a lot of snacks.

And _holy hell who brought all that booze-_

It was a downward spiral from there.

  
\- - - - - -

  
3 hours in and people were still drinking like it was the end of the world.

Dee had gotten smashed the fastest, only lasting half an hour.

Patton lasted 40 minutes, Virgil 55.

Roman had survived til the 1 hour 7 minute mark.

Logan held on til’ 2 hours in.

And Remus?

** _Remus lasted 3 hours and 26 minutes till’ all the alcohol set in._ **

That might have been the biggest mistake of all, _letting him drink_.

No one had thought of how Remus would act while drunk.

And it was _Fucking_ **_Terrifying_**.

Remus, -the normal, not intoxicated lad- was already plenty smart.

But for some, _goddamn **fucking reason**_, he seemed to get _smarter_ while drunk.

And that did not bode well.

Dee, being a sad-lad while drunk, decided to go get a snack to eat away his sorrows. Remus, being a good boyfriend, accompanied him.

Now, the only food that they had stocked up on for the party had all been bought at the local McDonalds.

And when Dee saw this, his sad-lad-drunk-energy kicked in and he started sobbing about how ‘the food industry has fallen into a downward spiral of not caring for what they feed the poor children’.

This prompted Remus, a supervillain-drunk, to calmly hand Dee off to one of their friends so that he could go, ‘make things right’.

What happened next could be attributed to an oversight on everyone’s part. Seeing as almost _everyone_ from Sanders University _and_ Darrek Slemms University had all been gathered in **_one place for the party_**.

In the span of the next hour, Remus managed to gather several students from both schools to help on a ‘radical-business-venture to dethrone-McDonalds’.

One digital design student created a website and logo.

Another student managed to buy out a recently bankruptted storefront.

A student specialising in publicity made several social media accounts.

Several students studying agriculture had managed to get in touch with some farmers to get them to supply produce for the project.

A team of culinary arts students had been persuaded into getting jobs at the new up-and-coming restaurant.

And _someone_, (*cough* drunk-Virgil *cough) had let Remus post a video bashing McDonalds and pitching off the project on their _20k subscriber YouTube channel_.

Everything had been paid for out of pocket too, for Remus had casually opened his bank account to show that he was a _secret-millionaire_ due to his _‘adventures in the stock-market’._

The project was underway, and it was dubbed ‘Re-McMastered’.

.  
.  
.

And then, 30 minutes later, McDonalds sent out a tweet threatening to sue them for copyright.

Thus the project was re-dubbed, ‘Re-Mustache’.

  
\- - - - - - - - 

  
In the morning, Dee woke up and did 3 things.

1\. _ Took some painkillers for his hangover._  
2\. _Sigh when he found out about Remus’s ‘business-venture’._  
3\. _Gave his boyfriend a hangover-hug, because he knew that Remus cared._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see, this is what happens if you let the crazy garbage man hold a party with no failsafe's in place.
> 
> (this was spawned from a headcannon me and my lil' sibling have about Deceit being a sad drunk and Remus being a supervillain drunk, lol)


	26. A Love Written in Paragraphs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly's epic love story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case the summary didn't make it clear this chapter is OC-centric, so if you don't like that stuff feel free to skip it!

It started the way most things do: with something small and insignificant. In this case, it was an eraser.

Shelly was seated in the middle of the room in her history class, freshman year of highschool. Next to her was a seemingly average girl, with wavy brown hair and hazel eyes, named Jane Sympones. One day Jane asked for an eraser.

“Hey, can I borrow an eraser?”

“Sure I have tons!”

And those were the first words they ever said to each other.

  
~ ~ ~

  
Later, they would get paired for a project, and found that their personalities and work ethics meshed really well.

Later, they would get to choose partners for their assignments, and naturally gravitated to each other.

Later, Shelly would find herself bored and start to doodle on Jane's papers.

Later, Jane would add to them.

Eventually, Shelly would ask to hang out, but Jane could never find the time with her schedule.

Eventually, Shelly would ask why she was always so busy.

Eventually, Jane would tell her a story. 

A story about a young girl, who found solace in the guitar and was praised for her talents. A story where, like always, happy times didn’t last. Where eventually people’s praise turned to greed, and where the girl couldn’t say no. Because if her talents made her parents proud, and if it made her special, then wouldn’t that be enough to make _her_ happy?

And Shelly couldn’t find it in her to respond.

  
~ ~ ~

  
The day after, Shelly would approach Jane again.

“Let’s exchange numbers!”

“...Why?”

“So we can talk silly! Even if we can’t properly hang out, we can still talk!”

“But with my schedule…”

“It doesn’t have to be constant.”

And for the first time since Shelly came up to her, Jane looked up from her paper to see Shelly’s somber, yet sincere smile.

“We don’t have to talk every hour of the day, or even just once a day. But I really do want to get to know you more. And even if all I get once a month is a simple ‘hello’, I would still be happy.”

And who was Jane to try and say no to that?

  
~ ~ ~

  
From then on, month after month, they would write to each other. They would talk about anything and everything that had happened in that time. And even though they still sat next to each other in class, the paragraphs upon paragraphs they would send to each other was still something undeniably special.

And before they knew it, freshman year had passed. Then went sophomore year. Junior went the next. And in the blink of an eye, they were in senior year, and were both scouted to attend the illustrious Sanders University.

They were ecstatic. Years of staying by each other’s side had formed an unbreakable bond. 

They made plans for when they graduated. Heard rumors about some sort of ‘Neighborhood of College Students’.

Graduation passed before they knew it, both of them leaving with diplomas in hand and stars in their eyes.

But it was the email sent at the end of June, weeks after highschool had ended, that changed everything.

  
~ ~ ~

  
_Dear Shelly,_

_It breaks my heart to have to say this but I can’t go to Sanders University anymore._   
_My mother has received a letter inviting me to Juilliard and wants me to go._   
_She says that it is because “Sanders University focuses on a variety of subjects, and I think it's best if you went somewhere more focused on solely music.”_   
_I wish things didn’t go this way, I truly do want to go to Sanders University with you._   
_But since this is what my mother wants I have to do it._   
_I apologize from the bottom of my heart, you have been the light of my light for the past four years and I feel absolutely awful for ruining our plans._   
_And if you're mad or upset at me after reading this I truly do understand._   
_My only wish is that we can still talk to each other after this._

_Sincerely, Jane._

  
~ ~ ~

  
_Dear Jane,_

_While I am upset to hear the news I still respect your decision._   
_These last few years have been the highlight of my life with you by my side, and I wouldn’t give them up for anything in the world._   
_Just because we aren’t going to the same school anymore seems like an absolutely ridiculous reason for us to break off what we have._   
_You’re a talented and an amazing person in my book._   
_And I count my blessings that out of all the people out there I got to meet you._   
_I wish you the best of luck at Juilliard, and I await your next message._

_Sincerely, Shelly._

  
~ ~ ~

  
After that, Shelly and Jane continued to message each other every month for the next three years.

They talked about everything that happens, and everything they hope to come.

They plan to meet again in the future, eagerly awaiting the day they truly become their own people in the world.

And if Shelly, after all those years, still loves that stoic, slightly pessimistic girl she met all the way back in highschool?

If she had cried into her pillow that fateful day in June, when she finally realised how she feels?

If she hopes to one day tell her the truth about how she feels?

Then who is to stop her?

After all…  
.  
.  
.

.

.

  
.

  
_It’s no secret that Jane feels the same about the loud, energetic girl who captured her heart all the way back when she asked for her number._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh, so this is the last chapter I have written. bad place to stop I know but the last chapter is an author's note where I can hopefully explain some stuff so please read that!!


	27. Author's Note

Ok so this is the end of the story, kinda sudden I know, but I just don't have the same drive to continue this story as I did before.

I would like to thank everyone who made it this far with me on this (kinda weird) ride with me!!

But those who've read the [list-fic post](https://squidballsinc.tumblr.com/search/college%20student%20st) of mine about this series that started it all, you may be a little confused.

Mainly, about the climax.

For any of those who haven't read the list-fic here's the thing, I had planned to write a climax where the school attempts to shut-down the neighborhood but ultimately fails.

I really wanted to write it as a sort of 90 degree move turn, where the story could suddenly shift into a more plot-oriented-serious tone.

But if there's one thing I noticed about my writing it's that my ability to write serious things is lacking at best and never existed at worse.

So no matter how hard I tried I couldn't write the climax in a way that felt fulfilling.

But, to any of those who do want to see where it may have gone (or just want a few more pieces of content before saying goodbye) don't fear!

[Here](https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1tfozZK2g0aJALyxIXOW_58OMSpt044ac?usp=sharing) I have linked the google-drive that contains every chapter I have ever written for the story (along with an OC character doc for anyone interested).

It also contains the general plans I had for the finale, and how it would be spaced between 3-parts (docs titled Ch.END(1-3)).

And this is it! This is all I have!

I would once again like to thank everyone who's read this and wish you all good times in the future!

There is a small chance that I might return to this in the future, but if I do it would likely be in little one-off's that would be placed in a series, so try not to get your hopes up!

Have a wonderful day!

~ <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another link in case the other doesn't work: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1tfozZK2g0aJALyxIXOW_58OMSpt044ac?usp=sharing
> 
> And once again the original tumblr post: https://squidballsinc.tumblr.com/search/college%20student%20st
> 
> <3 <3 <3


End file.
